If I win the Dream Home I will never read US Weekly again, I promis.

Did you know most people abandon their resolutions by the end of January! January people? Why bother? I, on the other hand, like to work on myself all year long. It ebbs and flows with my mood but I have made some definite progress on my lofty resolution list for 2009.

1. Delete my MySpace account

2. Spend way too much money on a fancy brunch

3. Bake an apple pie

4. Register everyday for the HGTV dream home (contest ends 2/19/09)

5. Go to a BINGO night

6. Pay off my Discover card

7. Donate books to a vagina charity

8. Study for the GRE

9. Get an ‘A’ in my biostatistics course

10. See a sports medicine doctor for my knee

11. Organize my CDs

12. Play more Wii

13. Go to a wine tasting

14. Snuggle

15. Know Shabbat prayers from memory

16. Get new carpet

17. Keep up with current events

18. Switch to biodegradable cleaning products

19. Wear shimmery lip gloss

20. Have something published

21. Give someone a second chance

22. Dance with my husband

23. Be on time for something

24. Organize my computer area

25. Learn to use iTunes and photo editing software

26. Do 100 push ups

27. Read more books (sTORI Telling) and keep track of them

28. Go on a girls vacation with my friends possibly.to.the.beach

29. Clip coupons

30. Eat more dairy, soy and protein

31. Play ski ball

32. Own a necklace with a sparrow on it

33. Keep a secrete

34. Hand write notes to friends and family

35. Get rid of my mail catalogs

36. Be patient with husband’s schedule

37. Floss more

38. Get a fancy banner for my blog

39. Take the GRE

40. Apply to DrPH programs

41. Think before I speak

42. Frame some wedding photos

43. Paint my nails navy blue

44. Win something

45. Give handmade holiday gifts

46. Ski

47. hang out with my mom

48. Have my veil preserved

49. Wean myself off of Us Weekly

50. Use more lotion

So according to my math brain, I should be tackling 4.666(repeating) resolutions PER MONTH. March is over like tomorrow, so I'm about ten behind. But at least I managed to cross off six of the things on my list.

I haven't once missed MySpace, I spend most of my free time writing on people's wallpaper and talking about all of the things I heart.

I registered for the Dream Home and I cannot wait until HGTV pulls up in my driveway to tell me #44 can be crossed off with the acquisition of my new home in Sonoma County, California.

I switched to Method(R) cleaning products after a friend of mine did an extensive comparison and voted the mint cleaners superior. Now I don't feel like I'm about to pass out when I'm cleaning the shower, because the fumes are all natural.

My *best* accomplishment is BY FAR my A IN STATS! I really pulled it out there at the end with the take-home final, especially since I totally bombed the mid term. This was a special victory for me. (BTW I still have no idea how to do statistics, so please don't ask me)

My second best accomplishment was my Santa Fe presentation and trip I took with my mom - now that was a lot of time to spend with your mom!

I was on time for TWO lunches with friends this weekend and on time (hour early) to my presentation in New Mexico. Those totally count.

Works in progress:

I'm working on #30 and added chocolate soy milk in addition to my soy yogurt.

#35, it a vicious cycle. I went online to unsubscribe to catalogs and now I am getting different catalogs! Frick!...work in progress...

#42 I finally ordered our wedding album and some prints - AND I bought the frames. So this is also very close to being completed.

#44 I thought with my Louisville pick, I might just win my basketball pool BUT since those nim rods went and lost yesterday - I have to hold out for the Dream Home.

#48 I put my veil in a pillow case last night, in preparation to bring it to the preservation place. I will do this.

#19 I am SOOOO behind on my magazine reading. I have 4 US weekly, 3 Redbook, and 2 Marie Clair (9 copies of Working Mother?!) magazines sitting in my living room waiting to be read. Latest US Weekly features Reese Witherspoon in on the cover and I must know the dish about her and Jake. I'm not sure if this resolution is possible, but I'll keep trying...

I'm working on the Discover Card (this will take time people) and holding out that my husband will initiate either the brunch, the wine tasting or the Bingo... I wonder what I'm getting for my bday...19 days, hope the suspense doesn't kill you.

Overall, I am very proud of my accomplishments to date. How are you doing with yours? Slack-UH-LACK-AHS!

Half Way Point Middle EXAM...Today!

Eeek! My statistics midterm is today and my belly is telling my intestines just how nervous we are. Why? Why you say, am I so concerned about a class I am taking just for funsies? Well, I want to show Mr. Doctoral Program Admission Person that I am not a complete idiot when it comes to all things math (even though I am) so I need to have a piece of paper (er, uh, transcript) so I can have this conversation:

Mr. Admissions: So, I see during your masters work you scored well in your first statistics class and then received a C (after remediating a D) in your second course. Tell me more about that.

Me: [yeah because the teacher f'ing sucked and I was asleep through most of it] Yes. I would say statistics is not my strongest attribute, however I've dedicated myself to continuing my statistical education well into my career in public health practice.

Mr. Admissions: I'm listening.

Me: HERE! [waving paper wildly] HERE IN MY HAND I have the transcript from a statistics course I took on my own accord last winter! See, an A! In this course we used SAS statistical programming, albeit at a very elementary level, to analyze social and biological data. It was a great refresher for me.

Mr. Admissions: Your dedication is indeed impressive, and will be taken into consideration along with your extensive work background in the field and GRE Scores [crap! I still have to take that again too!]

Me: Thank you sir. I like your shirt.

Mr. Admissions: Oh, one more question. If you were to look at a sample of n=140 in a clinical trial for migraine medicine. Would you think this sample size has enough statistical power to conclude that a drug in fact works better than the rate of improvement with no therapies at all?

Me: Heck if I know, but I know clams get bigger if you put them in warm water!


I need L(AAAH)TZ of luck so do the kind of *wishing* where you squeeze your eyes closed tighter than tight and tap your heels together, Okay? *wish* *wish* *wish*

(Don't go hurting yourself though. Oh and save some of your wishes for my final in five weeks. okaythanksbye.)

Go go gadget clam!

I wish it would snow a million blizzards this afternoon and my stats class would be cancelled like last week. I’m not that lucky. My mid-term is a week from today and I have no idea what I am doing. Every time I do the homework, I look at the notes and apply whichever example the professor did in the notes to the homework. Is that learning? What in the hizzell am I going to do when I can’t use my notes on the mid-term? Did I mention I have taken three other stats courses? Why can’t stats stick in my head like the Jarrod’s jingle? (omg don't sing it!) Instead, the information sits in the pit of my stomach in an anxious knot just waiting to be shit out the other end never to be retrieved again. That’s how I earned myself a big fat 'C' in graduate school hence, the reason I am torturing myself with stats class in the first place. I am eager to show my dedication to ongoing statistical enlightement – but landing myself another big fat 'C' will NOT give me any props when it comes around the applying to doctoral programs. Interviewer: Ah, I see you still suck at statistics. Hhrumph!

One day our professor took off his winter hat and (unbeknownst to him) his hair was standing straight up like a mohawk. Straight up I tell you! So much that I had to bite my lip to stop from busting into uncontrollable giggles every time I looked at him. Our ex-roomie is in the class with me and spent the entire class period trying to secretly take a picture of the professor's hair on his iphone. Imagine how hard this is when you sit in the front row of a class with 9 people. Also imagine how much stats I learned that day. Zilch is the answer.

Our professor also likes to show us random data sets and ask us questions related to the set without any prior knowledge. Like this one:

As you can see the water increased in temperature. What do you suppose happens to the clams as a result of the increased temperature?

How the shit should I know? Maybe it makes them feel like they have to pee (do clams pee?) He waits silently until some poor idiot (finally!) attempts an answer to the ridiculous question (Um, they die?) which the professor follow up with this:

No. No, the clam length actually increased as a result of the warmer water.

Gee Wiz, Thanks! Now I don't know squat about stats but I know clams grow in warm water. Awesome.

Dear Stats: I hate you with the fiery passions of all loathing and possibly even more than I hate Abbie Cornish , Insane Clown Posse and that damn Jarrod's jingle.