Man was that burnt butt cheek worth it!

ALOHA! I’ve officially returned from Mexico! (and no one killed me and my kidneys are still intact)

While I had limited access to email and Facebook, I saved my google reader for today. TEN DAYS WORTH OF BLOG GLORY and I'm TOTALLY PSYCHED TO DEVOUR IT ALL!! I’m giddy clicking on links to see what my inter-peeps have been up to. Mermanda has had some fun stuff going on and ADORABLE E-pics (who wouldn’t eat those two up with a lens?), and a FAB contest FOR GAP JEANS was posted on My Little Reviews. Can I tell you how happy I am that she’s whored herself out to the Gap?

Coming home from vacation is always bitter sweet.

Boo, expired milk for breakfast.

YAY, subway meatball sub for lunch.

YAY, my own bed.

Boo, work.

I arrived at my office today nervous about a big project we had talked about me working on before I left. One which I was TOTALLY capable of doing, but would have been quite the ulcer-inducing mess.

This note was on my desk, hand written on the proposal by my big boss.

Welcome back!

F &*% K it!

Good effort.

It took me a good three minutes to decipher if this was a secret code or if I were reading the note incorrectly. I was impressed by the penned effort to maintain professionalism in the workplace by using the accepted-random-symbol-insertion-technique. I laughed my ass off and then broke out the tequila-filled truffles I snagged in Mexico.

What? you want to hear about my 8 days of Mexican bliss?

All in good time my lovelies, all in good time.

FLU - FREE Guarantee? I'll take two.

This summer Heidi and I are taking our chances on a EIGHT DAY, SEVEN NIGHT, ALL-INCLUSIVE TRIP to the MEXICAN RIVIERA (we're going to be SOOOO Sex in the City!) We're not scared of no piggie flu or brutal drug cartels.

Nope, because once we see THIS (no kids allowed) beauty


we'll have to unpack our ipods so we can do THIS


after our skin is tanned (SPF 80!) and we're done with swim-up-bars and sitting on red cushions, I think we might be hungry so we'll probably get all fancied up and eat HERE


But WAIT the night is still young and all that top shelf liquor isn't going to drink itself! That's why we're heading over HERE for some cocktails and salsa lessons


And then it will be bedtime so we will have to sleep in THIS dump of a room


And better yet, if we do get the sWINE flu... we get to come back THREE MORE TIMES FOR FREE.... GUAR-AN-TEED (leave it to the marketing geniuses in the travel industry to make H1N1 actually sound appealing)

So, yeah, THAT'S what I'm doing this summer

Drool if you must.

I am a lunch superstar

Getting to the gym has been a bother as of late. I pack my bag at 8am with full-hearted (and thighs) intentions of exercising post-work. As my bag sits in the car and I sit (wasting away) in my cubical the enthusiasm for cardiovascular fitness is painfully sucked out of me like a triple thick shake through a coffee straw, until 5pm rolls around and I promptly declare OUT-LOUD,

"I'm just not feelin' it today"

And then proceed to drive home and eat bad food/sit on the couch/snuggle my husband/watch trashy TV/ search the internets/bake cupcakes/ write on Facebook's wallpaper/ do anything in my power to resist burning calories

Last year my underlying motivation was a reoccurring nightmare that come July 4th my back fat would squeeze through the zipper of my wedding dress like a sumo wrestler in a bikini contest. Thankfully, I kept the back fat at bay. Now, the most magical day of my entire life is over and some thigh cheese has crashed my life party leaving me with not a shred of motivation to fight the evil caloric forces.

Until I say OUT-LOUD,

"I want to wear a bikini in August"

And then I promptly went CYCLING ON MY LUNCH HOUR!!

I have chosen to overlook the high pitched *shrill* of the instructor and the fact that my buttcrack is a shimmery river of salty goodness right now - because I'm lady gaga over the fact that I exercised my right to a one hour lunch. Now please excuse me while I eat my tuna salad.

He mixes it with love and makes the world taste good

So once upon a time on Holiday in Colorado we stumbled upon some candy. Lots and LOTS of CANDY!

First...here (Estes, CO)
Where I bought a dark chocolate haystack (think coconut goodness) and two (YES TWO!) of the most
delish ruby red candied apples (cherry not cinnamon) in united states of Colorado.

Then... here (Estes, CO)
Where I bought a half pound of assorted salt water taffy (think licorice flavor)

Then... here (Boulder**, CO)

And OH MY GOD THIS!

I you can't tell from the picture (the you're frickin' blind) this is the awesome of awesomness candy store in the universe of worlds. EVERY candy I've ever eaten or thought about eating in my entire life was in this store - candy cigarettes, taffy, licorice strings, paper buttons, pez, M&Ms, gummied EVERYTHING, sweet, sour, sweet&sours, dark chocolate, white chocolate, sugar babies, snow caps, red fish, blue fish, double bubble,
refined sugar in every form and color!

Did I HAPPEN TO MENTION they had a
MAGNIFICENT gelato counter!
One glance and you salivate in seven different flavors. Behind the bubbled glass were tubs upon tubs of the creamiest, shimmeriest, brightest gelato flavors I have ever seen. Any exotic flavor your can imagine.
IMAGINE THIS PEOPLE!

Do you know what I ate here?
1 piece of egg nog taffy
1 spoon full of blackberry Cabernet gelato (to.die.for)

but when I got home I ate this.

TWICE.

And.. if you don't believe me WATCH! THIS!
(gelato counter on the left when you walk in)

** p.s Downtown Boulder is so great I wish wish wish I could live there. But then I would be broke from all of the awesome shopping. I wish I could visit there with a lot of money and stay until all of my money ran out and then my wish would be to not have to pay per bag to get on the airplane with all of the everything that I bought in Boulder. If you go there ... call me. I want things.**

Well that was a trashy welcome, wasn't it?

While on holiday in Colorado we had high hopes of snowshoeing. This was my first trip to CO, and seeing as though I'm an Ohio girl with limited exposure to snow sports (hence why husband (post below) is seen skiing...without me) we figured stepping on powder with big metal duck shoes was more my style. We rented the snow shoes and headed for the mountains. Unfortunately for us, killer winds and below zero temps kept us from getting out of the car (BOO!). I didn’t even get a picture of me in my snow-bunny gear
(you'll have to trust me when I say I looked adorable).

Instead we did some

sightseeing in the mountains!
We stumbled upon this crazy little town called ...

One way in. One way out.
The townspeople don’t like outsiders, so they pile junk at the entrance to the town to deter people from moving to there.
cars, bikes, ski poles, trash, metal,
crap-o-la GALORE!
HUGE.JUNK.PILE.

Rumor has it that Ward has the highest PhD ratio of any city.
50% of its 169 residents have a terminal degree.
I don't need a mile high trash pile to know that
PhD’s are TOTAL kooks!
I’ve already recommended Ward to some of my colleagues :)

This is what Wikipedia says: The town is well-known in the region for its rustic feel as an anti-establishment counterculture mountain community, with residents forming an enclosed community wary of outsiders. The town is likewise often viewed with suspicion and puzzlement even by many citizens of liberal-leaning Boulder

VISIT IF YOU DARE!

(or just look at my pictures!)

tomorrow... CANDY!

Colorado - It's shaped like a square

Tomorrow...tales from our Colorado Holiday Vacation! Squeeeeeee!!


Pictured: My husband possibly stabbing a shadow to death with his ski sticks. Now THAT'S talent!