Thursday, August 27, 2009

Eating Nemo, without cooking him, is just plain wrong

Image via Dead Zebra, Inc

Last night we had a Jewish GNO (girl's night out) where we get together once a month for dinner. This was my first time being invited to this particular group, so I vowed to be on my best behavior so not to embarrass my friend who invited me [So, who's the red-headed, kid-less jew chick?]

When I got the original invite (via Facebook, where else?) I thought the restaurant was a steakhouse. Upon checking further, it did not serve steak (or "beefy wonder" as my mom calls it, she has strong opinions about meat) rather, it was a Japanese restaurant specializing in fish - the dead kind that's wrapped up to look pretty. YIKES! I considered bailing rather than embarrassing my friend with my horror, but she reassured me via text that they have other things to eat (probably not hot dogs).

When I arrived I was thrilled to see teriyaki chicken on the menu (you know you've been approached in a mall food court by a small Asian woman forcing a meaty toothpick in your face) so I ordered that. AND (oh the delish-ISH glory) MISO SOUP. Yes, I like soup made of bean curd, tofu, spinach and onion. I heart it actually and will eat your bowl should you decide you don't like it.

While the rest of the girls oohed and awwed over the eel rolls and pink fishy goodness - I enjoyed my fully cooked food.

And when they asked me why I didn't eat sushi. I was able to not go into my usual nausea-inducing diatribe, BECAUSE OF TAPEWORMS!!!! YOU LIVE NO WHERE NEAR AN OCEAN AND CHANCES ARE THAT FISH IS NOT UBER FRESH AND CLEAN. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THE POSSIBILITY THAT WHEN YOU WAKE UP TOMORROW YOU WILL BE FILLED WITH A 9-FOOT WORM AND HAVE PROGLOTTIDS SWARMING AROUND YOUR ANUS? ( even though I've been wishing this on my brother for years, the ignorant little shit!)

No, instead, I pretended not to eat it on vague principal, "I just don't consume raw fish." I held back my educated rant even after one lady made this comment, "I'm sure all of us here, well except you [pointing to me], have read countless parenting books." What-EV, I only worked in pediatrics for years and my hubs is going to be a penis doctor so just because I haven't birthed one doesn't mean I don't know that you're totally bonkers to not vaccinate your kid.

And after watching her pile a big load of uncooked sea life into her mouth, I silently wished havoc on her butthole and proceeded to explain the concept of herd immunity.

Overall, I think it went pretty well for my first outing.

And for you kids at home that don't eat raw fishies - why not mock those who do? (via We Covet)


Mermanda said...

I hate you.

Just kidding.

No, actually I hate you. Or more specifically, my sushi-loving butthole hates you.

Tam said...

Hey, I'm just speakin' the truth lady, and sometimes - it hurts.