Thursday, April 9, 2009

April showers bring snow, ants, diarrhea and misery - there's a slogan for ya!

This week brought the stomach flu

I had to surrender a beautiful filet and ice cream sundae to my husband (see previous statement)

It snowed




We accidentally stood up OUR RABBI and his ENTIRE family for Seder last night.

Wow, standing up the Rabbi – now that’s the highlight of my week.

Don’t worry, we marked it on the calendar for NEXT year that Jewish holidays start THE EVENING BEFORE THE ACTUAL HOLIDAY. Oh wait, excuse me, my palm is beeping… “Seder at the Rabbi’s House Tonight”… thanks for that reminder. [throw cell phone]


The blind guy was booted off American Idol

I have cramps

I've had nothing but soy yogurt, Gatorade and magic soup for three days and haven't lost a single pound.

My loser ex boyfriend from 1994 friended me on Facebook (*newsflash* he's still a loser; but I'm hot, married and successful so I friended him anyway)

There were ants all over our kitchen counter this morning

My family is coming on Sunday to celebrate my birthday. I wanted to make reservations for dinner… but forgot…it’s Easter and places are closed. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Frick!

Dear week,

I hate you. Please go away and let me forget you ever existed.

Thank you,

The *bright* side:

My Proactive came in the mail yesterday

Economic times have forced Nicholas Cage to sell his castle. Thankfully, he has another one (hint: I've always wanted a castle)

My Caffeine test strips came in the mail yesterday

My husband was awarded a scholarship

Kal Penn was killed off House to work for OBAMA. The good news is: he's no longer permitted to make Harold and Kumar movies.

All of my fingernails are long and painted pink

Easter candy goes on sale on Monday

My husband is adorable when he cuddles my cat AND he drove 20 minutes out of his way last night to get me a Truffle Blizzard(R) that I saw on TV - only to bring it home and have me take three bites and let the rest melt. (seriously, murdering me would have been quicker and cheaper)

I'm getting my birthday present in THREE DAYS

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