You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help.

This weekend I hung out with my friend E*. E and her husband babysit me when my own husband is on call, studying or pretending to be a doctor. I ask them questions about parenting and cooking and I always feel guilty for eating their food (they feed me a lot). I am like that kid next door that ALWAYS stays for dinner, except I don’t live next door. Her daughter, Miss Z, is 19 months and 21 days old. I am not a birthday stalker, I just know because she was born on my birthday (per my request) AND she has red hair (also per my request). One time we went to the outlet malls and I pretended she was my baby which worked out pretty well until E needed to breast feed her. I think milkmaids are creepy so I then pretended that I gave my baby to my friend. To keep. Anyway, Miss Z says my name when I come over and I love it.

Miss Z: Hi Ta-ma!
Me: Hi Z, can I have a hug?
Miss Z: No. (with a HUGE date in her mouth)

She used to give me hugs, but she’s not big on hugs right now so she signs for me to take off my coat and socks (or "sex" as she calls them). E and her husband usually let Miss Z spend her afternoons playing in dirt, but, since it’s winter and most of the dirt is frozen, they let her play with a stuffed bunny affixed to a sharpened bamboo stick instead. They are good parents. They also give her blanket rides and let her jump (assisted) on the couch until they are both panting and she is nowhere close to being done. Z's third word was "sht" (or "shoot" as E claims although it sounded a lot like a word you shouldn't say around babies who are learning to talk) and she always asks for random things to eat (apples, raisins) that her parents don't have in the house so they bribe her with pizza.

Z loves Calvin and Hobbs which makes me smile because my husband also loves C&H. She has a big book larger than her (with the front and back covers ripped off) that's filled with black and white strips that make her laugh. She actually climbed up in the glider and snuggled with me while we read some comics (E took a picture of this and I might be able to bribe her to send it to me). Miss Z giggles from her belly when she looks at the pictures and proclaims “funny. funny.” which actually is very funny. She is still a little confused with the cast list and calls Calvin, Hobbs and Hobbs, Tiger (her cat’s name) and although I tried to correct her – she wanted it to be that way so since she has only been on the planet for less than two years I decided to cut her some slack. Watching a baby with bright red cheeks and no socks on run around with a sharp bunny stick and say that Hobbs (er uh Calvin) is funny definitely makes for a great Saturday night. My friend Heidi met E at our wedding and thought she was a librarian. Quiet? Yes, but do you really think an actual librarian would let her kid say "shoot", eat pizza and play with a rectally-attached bunny javelin? Maybe if we ever have a baby E can get a us pointy Easter stick too. I hear she has one she might be looking to hide :)

*full names have not be used in an effort to maintain anonymity should child protective services be monitoring this blog.