Monday, December 8, 2008

Monday Movie Review

Work is slow today, so two posts it is!

Hancock – We didn’t know much about this movie, only that it was about a superhero who had fallen from public graces. If that’s all you know, it’s a pretty entertaining movie. I think Jason Bateman is a sucky actor (almost ruined Juno) but since I spent the first half of the movie remembering how hot Charlize Theron is – his mediocre performance didn’t matter. It was only a 92 minute run time so it kept me entertained in a cheesy, unrealistic type of way. It was also pretty sweet on surround sound. Rent it!

Wanted – although I had no desire to see this movie when (whenever?) it was released in theaters, there was much hype about the release to DVD. You see the entire backside of Angelina Jolie naked so of course husband was up for it. The lead was unknown to me so at first it appeared to be a very strange casting choice. For the first five minutes I thought it was Zack Braff, but then realized it was James McAvoy - still haven't seen anything else that he's in. The character is supposed to be unknown (with superhuman killing abilities) so I guess they couldn’t choose a big name actor. The opening monologue is BRILLIANT (see below). There was lots of action and killing and some pretty sweet bullet tricks and car/train stunts. The best part of the movie is when Zack Braff tells off his fat boss. I heart that scene and so does every person who has ever hated a boss. Rent it if you’re bored.
It's my anorexic boss' birthday. This means there's a certain amount of inter-office pressure to stand around the conference table, eating crappy food and pretending to worship her. Acting for five minutes like Janice doesn't make all our lives miserable is the hardest work I'll do all day. My job title is account manager. I used to be called an account service representative, but a consultant told us we have to manage our clients, and to not service them. I have a girlfriend who I neither manage or service. That's my best friend Barry fucking her on an Ikea kitchen table I picked up for a really good price. I'm finding it hard to care about anything these days. In fact, the only thing I do care about is the fact that I can't care about anything. Seriously, it worries me. My name is Wesley Gibson. My dad walked out on my mom when I was seven days old. Sometimes I wonder if he ever looked into my baby blue eyes and asked himself "did I just father the most insignificant asshole of the twenty-first century"?
I also watched the first 2/3rds of Hook and half of 40-year Old Virgin this weekend. All in all, pretty productive!


Jennie! said...

I haven't seen Hancock, but I really liked Wanted. It was completely ridiculous, but entertaining. Also, his fat boss reminded me of Heidi's boss.

Tam said...

I like how the into says "my anorexic boss's birthday" and then the camera pans to the HUGE lady eating cake!

Heidi said...

Hancock is a decent movie. Now I must rent Wanted since B is in it!