Thursday, April 16, 2009

Fine! Don't be my friends! I'll buy new friends! Yeah, and then I'll pay for their plastic surgery so they'd look just like you!

Today, I've decided to up the *SPICY* factor on this little piece of the internets. Behold, this post is a double cherry-POP as my friend Heidi (sometimes spelled Hidi at Penn Station) blogs for the first time (welcome to the internets friend!) This momentus day also marks the first ever MARRYING A MEDICAL STUDENT GUEST POST! All I can say is wow, that was a lot of firsts.

This was the topic I enticed her with:

I would appoint her my #1 bestest friend in the universe if she would only...

Now, I introduce...Heidi!

Tamara asked me to guest post today for her and she threw a topic out at me that I find myself answering frequently when I play this game with myself. Here is my rationale:

My bestest friend in the whole universe...

would have the ability to spot a designer tag, in my size at any Plato's Closet, consignment shop or Goodwill in town.

She would be able to speed read books for me and then tell me what they say.

She would come to work and tell off my boss for me.

She would also posses super-human strength so that if there were a car in the slow lane she could swoop in (oh yeah, she can also fly), pick their car up, let me pass through, and then put them back down.

She would also be able to help me find a great boyfriend and weed out all of the losers for me.

So what does my bestest friend in the universe look like you ask? Well, I think it's a pretty standard girl rule that you MUST have a token "fat" or "ugly" friend so that when you're out with her, guys think you're hot(TER). I know this might sound bad, but you know you have/wish you had/are that girl in your friend circle.

Therefore, my bestest friend in the whole universe would posses everything I said above and look like THIS (donut included) ---->


Jennie! said...

Fat Monica is a way better dancer than I am.

Jennie! said...

PS: Hidy totally had a blog like 18 years ago but I can't find a link to it.

Heidi said...

It's true but it was when I was really depressed right after college. It's not a good read.