Scene: Two gorgeously attractive married people sit down for some week night TV courtesy of DVR. Doting wife is dressed in comfy pj’s and husband prefers to wrinkle his work pants by lounging in them.
Husband: [snatching up the blanket] Brrr! I’m cold.
Me: Me too.
Husband: I’m cold and I’m hungry for dessert.
Me: Well, there are some snack sized Snickers bars next to the bananas.
Husband: Those are reserved for my lunches. I would like a cookie.
Me: We don’t have any cookies, babe.
Husband: I would like a cookie… please.
Me: I don’t have any cookies to give you or anything to make cookies with.
Husband: Well then, I would like you to go back in time and get me one.
Me: Even if I went back in time, there are no cookies there to be gotten.
Husband: You can make them, back in time.
Me: Even back in time, I didn’t have the time to make you cookies. Have some ice cream.
Husband: I already told you I was cold.
Me: Well, I think there are some Oreos in the cabinet.
Husband: I think those are really old and stale.
Me: I think so too but if you want a cookie that bad, you can eat them.
Husband: Rats.
[he always says “rats” in a cute pouty voice]
[just before bed]
Husband: What are you eating?
Me: I’m drinking chocolate soy milk.
Husband: I’m still waiting for my cookie.
If you’re wondering, we don’t keep cookies in our house because he eats them all in one sitting. I know, I'm a terrible wife.
Some husbands ask for foot rubs... mine asks for time travel.
4 comments:
Your husband is so demanding. Also, I have an emergency stash of cookies in my freezer. For times like that.
Now I want a cookie.
I want a cookie too. :(
Andrew and I just discussed time travel in a serious discussion about me wanting a raise. Rule #1: Never bring up time travel with a boy. I said "If I could time travel, I'd go to the future to ask for a raise and see how it goes..." and he said, "If you could time travel, why not just go to the future and get all the lottery numbers? Then you wouldn't need to worry about a raise." Um... good point.
I actually want a cookie now too...
Mermanda, that sounds a lot like the conversation husband and I had after I told him my super power would be to speed read. That was apparently unacceptable and irrational when you consider invisibility and flight. I don't care. If you go forward in time do me two favors.
1. Ask for a raise for me too
2. Get some cookies and bring them back (good ones, the soft kind with dark chocolate chunks!)
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