Miss, throwing oranges will get you kicked off this plane

Tonight sounds fun: light snow, sleet and freezing rain. Great. We’re going to Denver for the holiday and I hope our plane doesn’t veer off the runway and catch on fire. Even the possibility of punching a stewardess in the face to make my way down the bouncy inflatable slide sounds less appealing when fire is involved. And you know there will be that crazy guy yelling, "Every man for himself!" while he steps on babies and pregnant women only to find out the plane is in fact, not on fire, but simply waiting on the tarmac for a piece of luggage that was missed. Before any of that can happen, I have a bajillion loads of laundry to do, a bajillion I tell you. I also have to pack, change the sheets, and husband needs to give Miss Har clean water and food refills.

Every time before we go out of town, kitty starts being super cute to make us feel bad about leaving her. We have to put her in a different room when we get the suitcases out because she gets really stressed out when she sees them. She climbs up on the bed and sits in the suitcase and refuses to move. I think it’s unethical to pack a kitty, no matter how much she wants it. This morning I laid my sweater out on the bed and she comes running out of the closet and sits her furry little 7lb body right on top of it. I looked at her like, “Exactly what do you think you’re doing?” She set her chin down on the sweater while still looking at me with her sweet kitty eyes as if to say, “You don’t do anything at work anyway, do you REEEEEALY need to go?” And while I don’t really do anything at work (blog), especially the day before a holiday (blog), my presence is required. I had to physically remove the purr-kitty from my clothing so that I didn’t have to go to work topless. I gave her some pets and told her we’ll both be home tonight and give her lots of snuggles. Speaking of snuggles, last night Heidi came over to say hi and instead of welcoming her into our home, husband told her she “snuggle blocked” him. Rude, I know. He then proceeded to hang out (fall asleep and snore on my lap) while Heidi and I gabbed about the world. An hour later he sleepily rubbed his eyes and said how much fun he was having but had to head to bed (seriously?). Tonight I will snuggle my kitty and my husband because that is what winter is all about.


Also, my boss gave me an orange today. Just an orange. He also tried to give me some Christmas lights. I told him I was Jewish, which got me out of having to take the lights but not the orange. Orange you glad I told you that story? The End.