Shopping is better than snow and work

So it's totally snowing AGAIN today. Go figure. Good thing we're moving soon - to the tropics better known as Pittsburgh.

But today is Mr. President's Day.

And because of the President, today the GAP has 40% off EVERYTHING in the store. Um... I KNOW!!!

Yet another reason to LOVE Obama :)

Dress to impress

Even though I am still as big as a house and getting bigger as the days go by (3 lbs a week? WHAT?) I recently started missing dresses - all of my fun dresses stopped fitting a LONG time ago, the second I got pregnant my GI-NORMOUS jugs took charge and banished my dresses and button up shirts to the back of my closet.

But seriously, how fun is a really great dress? One piece of clothing that flows and flips making you looks spicy and feminine. My husband LOVES when I wear dresses - could this man possibly grab my ass more? The answer is YES, especially when I'm wearing a dress.

So I've starting looking at the spring lines at some of my favorite stores - Ann Taylor Loft, J crew ect. Nothing has really jumped out at me (not to mention, who knows when I'll be down to my pre pregnant weight) but today I came across a seemingly perfect option.

I was looking at this cute wedding over at Snippet & Ink and I was noticing how the magenta bridesmaids dresses really popped. When I scrolled down to see the designer, it was actually ONE DRESS worn SEVERAL DIFFERENT WAYS!!

The dress is a little pricey for my taste ($249) but all of the colors and different styles seem to make it worth the money. Couldn't you see this being in your closet for YEARS as the perfect staple? Wedding/Party/Cocktail/Night on the town dress? Ball it up and sneak it in your overnight bag - no ironing, no hassle! It's so flirty and fun!

Via Butter By Nadia

Do you have a signature dress? Will you be wearing it this Valentine's Day?

Conversation Cookies, spell check required

I heart this card via Snarky Cards

Have I told you that I am AWESOME at making iced sugar cookies FROM SCRATCH? Well I am. And I'm not just saying that I'm awesome because I think I am - my husband (who won't even admit that I'm funny - let alone hilarious) even says they are awesome. My brother swoons over them and my mom can't get enough. I used to make them for Christmas, but now with the whole Jewish thing my cookies are usually in the shape of the Star of David around December. My pumpkin-shaped lovelies were DEVOURED at Thanksgiving and I cannot wait until I have kiddies old enough to squeal with excitement over the tin of sweets I made for them to open on Valentine's morning just like my mom used to do.

EN-EE-WAY, today during my bed rest blog surfing I came across something I MUST HAVE. NEED IT.

Customized letter cookie imprints rock! If you break up with your man, I promise I'll make you a cookies (or two) that says, "He Sucked"

Now isn't THAT romantic? Totally better than those chalky, generic conversation hearts with the aftertaste of sucking nickles. These cookies SAY IT ALL.

via Williams-Sonoma

Happy Holidays - TO ME

I had to laugh today when I read Laura's post about buying presents FOR HERSELF. I just sat here, GUILTY of the same offenses and somehow relatively unashamed of myself.

This is actually totally awful when you think about the fact that I should be focusing on my unborn child and the fact that the only suitable sleeping arrangement we have for him is an open drawer or a kitty bed. ON TOP OF THE FACT that we've told friends/family we're giving the gift of life this year and not to expect much else.

But then I was walking through Macy's the other day on my way to use a FREE PANTIE coupon at Vicki's (panties which are now being 'saved' for post pregnancy, what mom wouldn't love new panties as motivation to shrink her ass back down to size?) - anyway, I'm walking through Macy's and spy a BLACK PEARL NECKLACE hanging on the clearance rack amongst some hideous costume jewelry and tacky plastic bracelets. You know, like the one CJANE had that I was SWOONING OVER just a few weeks ago?

EXCEPT ONE PROBLEM: No clearance price.

I was about the set them down assuming some lazy broad had hung them there in a effort to spike my blood pressure for funsies, when I decided to take the chance, walk up to the counter, and ask IF POSSIBLY THESE STUNNING PEARLS WERE ON SALE.

The teenage-looking sales girl with entirely too much makeup clearly applied strategically in an attempt to distract you from her lack of personality examined the tag, NOT MARKED CLEARANCE, shrugged and scanned them.

Original Price Tag: $80.00 (fresh water pearls with sterling silver clasp)

Sale Price: $18.00

PLUS 25% OFF Friends and Family Coupon: $13.50

The pearls are mine and in my opinion, A TOTAL SCORE.

Shop till you DROP

We've decided since we are BA-ZILLION dollars in debt AND expecting a little bundle of joy in a few months that we will forgo holiday shopping this year. People are pretty satisfied with the gift of life - so we're going to milk that for all that it's worth and I'm going to try extra hard to brew up a cute little boy.

BUT for those of you who ARE fa-la-la-ing this holiday season (with your shopping finger that is).

SEPHORA HAS FREE SHIPPING ENDS TODAY!! CODE: SHIP4FREE

and some SOUP-ER cute holiday gift items

Stila Lip Glaze Set $25!

Bare Escentuals starter kit ($174 value!)
LIMITED TIME EXCLUSIVE OFFER!
20% Off Bare Escentuals Get Started Kits. Now $48. (Was $60.)
One week only. Valid through December 1.
For free U.S. shipping, enter promo code GETSTARTED at checkout.

or if you need a CLASSY stocking stuffer or gift exchange gift...
Try this Philosphy kit for $5 SHIPPED FREE!

AND if you're not feeling Sephora (what's WRONG with you?) NY & Company has a 50% off Everything Cyber Monday Sale.
Apply coupon code 4136 for free shipping

Sprucing up our house so we can sell it

Speaking of splurging, now that we have *amazing* new carpet in our house - I redecorated the den last week with the help of Ikea and my trusty husband.

And these adorable stars from the David Stark Collection at West Elm.



I'm also trying to decide on some prints for the bedroom from LuckyBluebirdArt on Etsy.



::POST EDIT:: Now isn't this a CO-INKY-DINK...Check out David Stark's twine snowmen on Design*Sponge today!

My Favorite Things - Edition #19

Right now I *heart* thinking about warm cozy things. Snuggling on my husband is ALWAYS my first choice, but when I can't have that... I'll settle for these...

Starbucks Decaf Peppermint Mocha or Peppermint Hot Chocolate


Circle Scarf (in some amazingly rich fall colors) by Etsy seller rachelfixed


and leggings paired with a cozy sweater. I'm LOVING my gap maternity leggings right now - it took swallowing an entire cantaloupe for me to get up the nerve to wear them, but I'm never going back!



and if you want something HOT!!

Victoria's Secret has *free shipping* on any order! Today only! (11/6)
Code: SHIPFREE

SALE!

Are you ready to exercise? Well bust out those shopping fingers and check out the deals I scored this week!

Vera Bradley Zip Around Wallet $15! (reg. $38) TODAY ONLY!! This wallet is awesome and holds more crap-OH-lA! than you could possibly imagine. Do you have a frequent shopper card to every boutique you've ever stepped foot in? This one's for you (or your mom for the holidays - start now, save now. That's my motto!)

Next up, Pleated Tulip Skirt $25! (reg. $59.50) I actually bought the entire outfit this chick has on last night at Ann Taylor Loft (when hubs is a doctor, this store is my destiny). The shirt was a total splurge that I am NOT proud of, but I needed to look sophisticated on Friday and this might be my only hope. I made the sales girl rip it straight off the mannequin. I walked out with this outfit, a $10 pair of jeans and a $25 cash-back coupon and tapped that nekkid mannequin on the bum. Thanks lady!

And lastly, I had to re-buy the FABULOUS Victoria Secret cover up I wore on my Mexico trip because, I sat in bleach (and almost cried!) Thankfully it's on SALE $22.99 (reg. $39) with AN ADDITIONAL 40% off when you use the code CLEAR40 until tomorrow!! Total: $13.79!!! This is so soft and the color is stunning. I heart it. A lot.

Thank me later, okay?

Cheers!

My Favorite Things - Edition #15

But MOM, I WANT IT!!

There are things I want right now. Well there are always things I want. I'm a want-er. And please read the word WANT with emphasis because, I assure you, need for NOTHING. NOTHING I tell you!! I actually find myself looking at my home, every nook and cranny (what's a cranny?) with a violent urge to THROW IT ALL AWAY. Then the guilt kicks in. Guilt about garbage piling up and DESTROYING THE ENVIRONMENT! Like how long does it take for an ugly color Clinique trial size eye shadow to leave this earth? You can't tell me? Shit. I have to keep it.

Things I want right now:

A Northface rain jacket

Some comfortable (and reasonably priced) black heels to wear to work

A (used?) Cannondale hybrid 15" women's bike


And gift certificate to Sephora

Because have I told you how much I *love* Bare Minerals? Well the geniuses in the "common sense" department FINALLY found a way for me to travel with loose powder (because my Scotch tape antics work only 50% of the time!)

"The new Click, Lock, Go™ component, you can take bareMinerals Matte SPF 15 Foundation everywhere you go—no spills, no leaks, no worries. "

Three words: IT'S ABOUT TIME!

Also I'm dying to try Kat Von D's eyeliner and tattoo concealer because remember the episode of LA INK where she had ALL 78962 of her tattoos covered with it? Right, like all of them. Man she rocks so hard!



And don't forget - I'm going to be laying on the beach next week so you won't hear from me. Unless it's on the news, because my boss told me I am destined to be abducted by Mexican drug lords and killed - but not before they steal my kidneys.

And you thought YOUR boss was supportive!

If you give a mouse a cookie, he can eat it at his desk

I bought a new desk and my gorgeously handy husband assembled it for me IN THE NUDE.
It has DRAWERS to hide Le CRAP!

Then I realized that sometimes when I am at my desk, I get thirsty.

Drinks are quite the mess, right?

So I needed a coaster.

I *swooned* over coasters on Etsy for nearly an hour.

until I settled on these lovelies from Love My Coasters


I really need to stop reading design websites, because now I am trying to find a vintage toast rack to hold my letters and bills.


But unfortunately, Ebay thinks I need to pay $200 for it.

Treasure, Treasure in the sky, let a cheap one catch my eye.

The end.

My Favorite Things - Edition #13

I've found some pretty things this week on the internets - thought I'd share them!

Tired of Tupperware and Pampered Chef? Can't quite afford Silpada? Stella & Dot has some ADORABLE pieces!

Check out the special being offered HERE!



Fun things from Fred Flare - I'm keeping my eye on this sunny dress and salty birds!



And for those of you who have always wanted a Saved By the Bell water bottle or Dunder Mifflin I.D. tag. Check out the 5 for $20 sale! AND get Free Shipping no minimum with code SHIP5FREE or ship5free



Husband and I are off to explore the Celtic Festival this weekend!

Happy Friday my lovelies!

I love this!

By Thomas Paul

Actually THIS ENTIRE STORE is so awesome. I just spent an hour on this site and I covet it all!

Fo dey werk week

Remember those awesome pants that I ripped the crotch out of last week? Don't tell me you don't remember. Because you do. It’s not every day that I flash you my stuff covered by a thin layer of pink cotton. Anyways, in attempting to "fix" said pants my mom used her fancy sew machine to stitch up the koosh and then, for good measure, proceeded to sew the legs together STRAIGHT UP TO MY BELLYBUTTON. She meant well, I swear, but I spent a good half hour cutting them apart. I wore my newly mended ‘trousers’ (as my ol’ gma would say) to work yesterday, AND THE HEM FELL OUT. SUH-NUV-AH GUNS! It’s not even like I bought the pants at Odd Lots or Dollar General (do they even SELL pants?) – they were from The LIMITED already! Limited is right! Limited support in my crotch and ankles.

Remember those green FUBU pants you had from Junior High that you would squeeze into in undergad to make yourself feel good? Now thems were some quality pants. Am I right ladies?

[Que quote that old people say] “They just don’t make pants like they used to”

So because some underage worker in a third world country is a total slack-off, and my girl parts are apparently bustin' out all over, I will have to retire my gray work pants. That retirement leaves me with two pairs of work pants. I do laundry on SUNDAYS.

2 pairs of work pants + 5 work days + 1 laundry day DOES NOT EQUAL FRESHNESS!

I am forced to go shopping on my lunch break. FORCED I TELL YOU!

I am also forced to drive through Chick-fil-A because I have absolutely no desire to eat the lean cuisine sitting in my mini fridge. It’s just that kind of day people.

For the record, this doesn't make me a bad driver

It hurts my feelings when people say I am a bad driver. My husband says I’m a bad driver. My dad says I am a bad driver too. To them I say, don’t judge me until you have sustained some sort of trauma due to my driving. AND My car is spotless inside, which makes me a good driver.

I am not a bad driver, I just have problems paying attention. Hello? Who wants to “concentrate on driving” – you just sit there and bop your foot a little and spin your hands on the circle. AND how boring is THE ROAD when you can be thinking about Chinese food and vacations and work and money and friends and weekends and cupcakes and dresses and smooching on your husband and all of the things you would say to your boss if the world were free of consequence and puppies and dragons and movies and rainbows and everything else in the world that is funner than THE ROAD...oh and looking at your eye.

About three weeks ago I was leaving my subdivision on my way to work. Same drive – every day. I was slowing my car at a stop sign and decided to look at my eye. I had done some fancy drawing with the eyeliner that morning and wanted to admire my handwork in the rear view. I swear on hot dogs I looked at my eye in the effing mirror for ONE SECOND and then BOOM BOOM POW. There I was two right tires up on the curb sliding into the stop sign. BREAAAAAK. CRAP.

First I backed that car up off the curb and then looked around to see if anyone was questioning my sobriety. Nope, clear.

THEN, I got out and looked at my car.

Hmm. Looks fine to me. I don’t even have to tell hubs about this one. Bonus!

Fast forward another week.

Husband: Your car is pulling like crazy what’s wrong with it?

Me:...well…I ramped it a little last week. But it was fine.

Husband: How do you ramp it...a little?

Me: Ooopsy. My tire looks flat.

Husband: It looks like you shredded the inside of the tire wall –what the hell were you doing?

Me: My car was on the curb… like…a lot.

Husband: How many of your tires were on the curb?

Me: Two. But they were both on the same side.

Husband: You managed to get only the right side of your car up on a curb? How fast were you going?

Me: Not sure, slow. I think.

Saving Grace: ROAD HAZARD TIRE WARRANTY.

Cost me $12 to replace a $150 tire. Well, and $50 + tax for alignment.

Sears Auto employee: What did you do with this car? The alignment was JACKED.

Husband: My wife drives this car.

Sears Auto employee: I take it you want the Road Hazard warranty on the new tire too?

Husband: Yes. Like I said, my WIFE drives this car.

If a chick ramps half her car up on a curb at 9 o'clock in the morning and no one is watching - she's still a good driver.

My shopping finger is tired, very tired

Dear Tam,

A large purchase has recently posted to your Discover account.

If this is an error, please contact our fraud department.

Sincerely,

Discover Bank FDIC

This email should be followed by one that says this:

Dear Tam,


This is the THIRD EMAIL LIKE THIS WE'VE SENT TO YOU IN TWO WEEKS. Either you've won the lottery and you'll be paying your bill IN FULL and ON TIME...OR...PUT YOUR EFFING CREDIT CARD DOWN!!


Sincerely,


Discover Bank FDIC

There's nothing panties and a fish sandwich can't fix

It’s March. March is a fun month because of St. Patrick’s Day and green and smooching red-heads who claim they are Irish and it’s the month before my birthday and because this year, in March, I'm going to Santa Fe. So why have I been cranky in March? I’ve had plenty of sleep, plenty of time with my husband…I can’t figure it out. Perhaps it’s because Rhianna was stupid enough to go back to Chris Brown after he beat her silly. Perhaps it’s because the jerk mamma’s at blockbuster only carry one copy of Changling in Blu-Ray and won’t hold it for me. Perhaps because it is still a trillion degrees below zero outside and I am jonesing for sunny.

Here are my sunny ideas for March:

The new McDonald’s commercial for lent. The tiny wheels in my brain spin with delight when I see sheer marketing genius. Singing wall fish with a catchy tune and obese man eating your friend – I salute you.



OPI pink iridescent nail polish, you will adorn my seven long nails and three broken ones. You will make them sparkly and strong and not chip within three days of application under penalty of death.

Windsor Pilates, I miss you. I need to get my lazy b-hole out of bed 20 minutes earlier each morning in order to stretch and elongate my muscles. My previously toned arms have gone limp and yearn for your instruction, you complete me.

Schwan’s man, in your boxy yellow truck, please visit my house and drop off some delicious chicken cordon bleu for those March nights when I am lazy and don’t want to cook. I can almost smell the warm swiss cheese seeping from the ham-stuffed middle. Also, please include a half gallon of your delectable raspberry swirl fro-yo. Because it is just the kind of smooth creamy treat that this girl needs to satisfy her after-dinner sweet tooth.

Victoria’s secret free pantie coupons – your ‘no purchase necessary’ clause allows me to throw away old period panties every month and replace them with black/white/whisper pink/ivory/buff low-rise cotton briefs valued up to $9.50 without spending a single dime. The two coupons I have are burning a hole in my wallet and I cannot wait to dig through cotton undergarment goodness to find my free treasures. Please keep sending them. My pantie drawer thanks you.

And finally, when someone else makes a list (for the love of lists) of March lovelies and shows me a pair of crimson wedges that just happen to be on sale for 40% off at Nordstrom’s, delivered to your door free of charge in two days (call a store if you can't find your size!) I need them. I needed them for March. I figured they could sit in my closet with my yellow jacket and wait patiently for spring.

Dear crimson wedges. Please come soon. Bring spring.

My Favorite Things - Edition #7

Wow! I feel like it has been forever since I’ve reviewed one of my favorite things. Today you’re in for a treat because Heidi and I visited Sephora a few weeks ago and my treasures are A-mazing.

I’ve always used drug store mascara, the rationale being that I didn’t want to spend twenty bucks (don’t say “bucks” it’s not lady like) on a tube of black shit to make my eyelashes darker. I found a brand I liked, and stuck with that. THEN I always see commercials about “lash extending” formulas or “new thicker lashes” or “tubes of length that fall off when you wash” and I am commercially pressured to try new products. These said products always turn out to be total shit. I like full lashes, not thin separated ones. I also like black/brown mascara because black (or worse black/black) makes my face look like night of the living dead. My usual mascara stopped making black/brown and after throwing away THREE craphole tubes at $6-$8 a pop…I caved.

Me: Hi. I need new mascara. What’s the best kind you have?

Sephora sales girl: How do you like your lashes?

Me: Full and thick.[Medium rare. Wtf?]

Sephora sales girl: Dior show. To the right.

Me: Sold.

Holy crap bags batman, $24 for a tube of eyelash tint! Yowsers! [breath, rationalize] I’ve already wasted at least that much on the tubes I’ve pitched.

DIOR SHOW
OMG this mascara rocks and it's worth every single penny. Sephora rated it in the “Best of 2008” list and I know why. The best part is, it come in a milk chocolate color that they call “Chestnut” which compliments lighter skin tones perfectly. I didn't get the waterproof kind, only because I read one time that wearing WP Mascara everyday is damaging to your lashes. Even though it isn't WP, Dior Show doesn't smudge or bleed under your eyes by the end of the day. My new mascara even prompted this comment from my otherwise oblivious husband, “Your eye make-up looks really good today.” I am now officially the girl who spends $24 on a single tube of mascara and tells people it's worth it. Next thing you know I'll be exclusively bathing in Fiji water and getting a colonic. Watch out Hollywood!

My second purchase was am impulse buy stemming from the fact that my husband recently commented that my perfume makes me smell like High School Musical 2 (so what if I'm BFF with my sweet pea body spray!) So, I’ve been on a quest for something more “grown up” without smelling like a French whore house or a grandma. I’m also pretty sensitive to smells, so I needed something light-ish. Last year I peeled open the fragrance tab on a magazine to wipe my wrists with Michael Kors Island. I remember my hair wafting in the island breeze of freshness and then when I saw it was $60 for a dinky bottle – I quickly forgot the experience altogether. There in Sephora, sitting on a *glorious* tower of items marked “SALE” I spotted a Michael Kors Island gift set (left over from the blessed 12/25th)- Full.Size.Bottle. (and a stupid clutch) $60 $30.00!!! SOLD!! To me, and one for Heidi.
ISLAND MICHAEL KORS CAPRI makes me want to smell myself…ALL.DAY.LONG. (Husband approved!)

Also, I would like to note that just because you work at a store/counter that sells make-up doesn’t mean you are required to model ALL OF IT ON YOUR FACE AT ONCE!!! Can somebody get a chisel so I can find this girl’s cheekbone? Oh, and while you’re at it, call the glitter police.

define the word "need"

Okay so hopefully you didn't just watch Confessions of a Shopaholic (like I did) and hopefully you haven't racked up a bajillion dollars in credit card debt because there is an awesomely amazing fantabulous deal going on...

Sonya Renee jewelry is offering 50% OFF to people who read Snippet&Ink blog. Her pieces are so beautiful and I've been telling you for months how my birthday is coming up (j/k..kinda). Seriously, this is a HUGE SALE (usually it's no more than 20% off), and there are lots of things that would be perfect for bridesmaids gifts (*hint KJ, Mermanda) or Mother's Day gifts or shamelessly-buy-gifts-for-yourself day (is that coming up?) She even has a necklace with a sparrow on it !!

There are SO many things for you to covet. For example, this GORGEOUS gold and diamond fern ring was originally $900 and is now marked down to $620... if you take an additional 50% OFF YOU GET THAT RING FOR $310 (I swear if I had money to burn, and my fingers weren't the size of a cold stumpy toothpick, it would be mine!)


And if I didn't have a wedding to pay off, the monogrammed gold disk necklace would be mine... mine!mine!mine!

Trust me, just looking at the site and using the math portion of your shopping brain to calculate what the prices would be with 50% OFF will make you happy. I promise it will make you ridiculously giddy to the point where you are thinking about selling your husband to buy some of these lovelies! (but then you realize selling him would make you sad if your necklace ever broke or tarnished - but what are the chances of that, really.)

Check it out, then thank me in jewelry.

Candy goes on sale Feb. 15th!

February is awesome for many reasons:
1. It's short
2. It's associated with frogs (leap!)
3. There is a holiday dedicated to the color pink and chocolate
4. love is spread like lipstick on pig

So, in celebrating February and in light of the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, ECONOMY.... I want you to cut out the middle man, tell uncle sam to kiss your b-hole, stop giving your money to china, surpress your absolute *love* of all things Target and buy local this V-Day!!

I hereby, CHALLENGE YOU. If you don't have a hunnie bunnie and want to buy ME a present, I will graciously accept (I heart Etsy) AND I will even write you a thank you note. Because I'm good like that.

Read more about SPREAD THE LOVE FEBRUARY here.
Or click on the link in my sidebar --------> (over there)

I found my husband a gift on Etsy the other night. Shhhh. Don't tell him!

I think it's working

Thank you a billion tons for the prayers, I think they're working. My birthday grandpa made it through surgery on Friday and is in the ICU.

I am sorry I don't have much more to report on this Monday afternoon. I didn't see any movies this weekend, I didn't have any funny conversations with my husband (sad face, he was studying) and I went shopping and didn't buy anything (gasp!)

HOWEVER, I did try on this jacket at Ann Taylor LOFT and I looked so sunny and cute in it. I swear it was made for a red-head and have no idea why a drabby blond is modeling it. Wouldn't it be perfect for a spring brunch with the girls or Easter Sunday? Yes. The answer is: yes it would. Now please, Mr. cute sunny jacket, be marked down to $35 so I can justify buying you. I'm incredibly cheap and poor, but mostly cheap. AND I'm not even Christian so if I do wear you on Easter it will be to the Hustler store.

I also bowled a 139 this weekend. All time high for me! Every time I bowl I think to myself, "This really is fun, why don't we do it more?" but then I realized I have the same conversation with myself every time I ice skate, hike, play Catch Phrase, eat cupcakes and have sex.

Time. The answer is time. I might ask for that for my birthday, the time to do all of the above. Oh, and the yellow jacket :)