Monday, August 10, 2009

I have a pending sponsorship offer from Nike, so back off Adidas

When I stepped out of my car this morning to walk into work I was hit in the face by a plume of humidity. Nothing shout MIDWEST SUMMER like a sweaty upper lip and frizzy hair first thing in the morning. I walked into the building thankful that I spend my days inside..until I realized inside, felt like outside. I was greeted to a note on our office door (clearly posted to avoid nagging questions) stating that the air was broken and would most likely be out for today and tomorrow. IT WAS A BAJILLION DEGREES PEOPLE! The office reeked of stagnate air and smoke from the clothing of the cleaning staff who were emptying the garbage that was left to marinate over the weekend. The only two words that came to my mind were: SICK DAY.

But I sucked it up, went to my cubical and switched on my computer. And low and behold, two hours later, COLD AIR. Apparently, the fixers were on the ball this morning and for that I am VERY grateful.

ANYWAY, what I really wanted to brag blog about was my weekend. Well, at least one glorious hour of my weekend when I went putt putting with B. Let me preface this by saying husband and I almost GOT DIVORCED on our honeymoon when we attempted the course at the resort. I do believe this was some sort of Mexican conspiracy set up to test the bonds of marriage because after hitting a sextriple bogie, choice words were shared, clubs were thrown and well, I quit.

Without going into detail I explained to B that I’m bad at this game and often get putt-induced Tourette Syndrome. We decided to only score if someone got a hole-in-one. This was presumably easier and we didn’t have to carry around that creepy little pencil with no eraser. We also set up an escape plan. We would leave immediately if one three things happened.

1) either of us saw or thought we saw lightening

2) We felt rain drops other than windy splashes from the blue-water fountains

3) Someone urinated on us

I thought this was a pretty good plan and after a few practice putts I was ready. Can I just tell you that I made my own self look like a liar when I ROCKED that club like TIGER WOODS. Wanna take a ride on my disco stick? Because it’s officially on fire! On my fourth hole, I GOT A HOLE IN ONE! I don’t think, in my entire career of putt putt golfing, I’ve ever gotten a hole-in-one. THEN I continued to dominate that plastic grass green with 2-3 put shots. Thankyouverymuch I’m awesome.

Score: Tam 1; B 0

I smell a rematch coming on... or is that urine?


Mermanda said...

Just wondering: do people urinate on you frequently? Like is this really a big enough concern to write it into your rule book?

Tam said...

No, it was his idea actually, BUT if someone DID urinate on me, I would consider penciling it in.