Tuesday, June 9, 2009

All of my moments are yours for the taking


Can I tell you that the weekends have been glorious. Well, they have. The perfect combination of sun and my husband have made me forget that Monday even exists.

For the past three years, medical school has sucked the life out of his two day break - and residency will no doubt leave me a weekend widow - so we are delighting in this time together while he's finishing up.

A recent survey asked doctors if they could have anything what it would be. Their answer: THEIR 20s BACK.

There are days when we feel old, like our 20s were supposed to be young and free - with nothing but time and money to burn. Did we give that up in exchange for school loans and stability? The path to medicine involves living on a shoestring budget, studying your head off and always anticipating the next step, rarely reveling in the current one. Who revels in library cubicals or 31-hour calls anyway? Much of our time together in the evenings is spent speculating on where he should apply for residency, should we rent or buy, how hard its going to be to sell our house, where and when we could fit in a baby and what the future brings for both our careers. Those are heavy things for two gorgeously attractive married people to contemplate on a nightly basis, you know?

But there are a few hours each day that we have a life, a marriage. And while our 20s are behind us for the most part, we want to take advantage of being (almost) 30. Being in love. Just being. Medicine can't rob you of your 20s, you simply let them pass you by.

I have a beautiful picture of my mother before she was pregnant with me. Just her face looking into the camera. I keep that picture tucked in a book next to my bed. I don't know this person, but I want to. I look into her eyes and want so badly for them to tell me a story. Do you ever think about what your parents were like before you came along? What was their day like? Did they smooch in the kitchen and ride bikes in the springtime? Did they stand in IKEA in front of the dressers for three hours wondering which one to pick? I imagine one day we will have children and these are the days they will wonder about. What did we do with our moments? Did we grow more in love everyday? Did we laugh and joke and drive for ice cream cones twice a week? Did we argue sometimes and spend the rest of the night making up?

I know we can't turn our backs on the waiting and wondering, but right now there are afternoons with nothing to do but be together. Summertime is just waiting to share her treasures with us. We'll walk hand-in-hand at a street fair, share a meal on a sunny patio or drink red wine from huge ballooned glasses while we talk the night away. Our nightly sleepovers consist of two people snuggled up in an enormous bed with one tiny cat purring at our feet.

There will be a time when we are stable and have money. He won't be studying or letting residency directors and computers determine our fate. But I imagine our sleepovers will look very different then. Hopefully our big bed will be filled with little feets and thankful bodies. I pray we're still just as in love as we are now, because my future looks amazing with him in it. But, for now, so do my weekends, and the next four days will fly by when you live in moments like these.

1 comment:

ashley.star said...

This post is adorable and well-written.

Although neither of us are med-students (he is a grad student, though!), I feel like my husband and I are in the same boat.

Here's to enjoyable weekends! :)