Yes, may I please speak with a Ms. Baby Mama?

Some Fridays I work for another study that recruits people from a DUI (jail alternative) program. Sometimes I like to read the intake forms for funsies. Keep in mind the people are not drunk when they get to the program.

(Sample 1) Race: American

(Sample 2) Race: Human

(Sample 3) Race: Cactation*

(Sample 4) Emergency Contact: Baby Mama 555-5555

(Sample 5) Occupation: Stripper (name of club)

*cactation = caucasian

Thank you this is very informational, excuse me while I laugh my aSK off.

Also I was at the dermatologist yesterday (having my tattoo blasted for the 10th time) and I was reading Shape magazine. I stole a page from the magazine (god I hate when people do this. I am that person.) with an ad for Caffeine strips. I haven't drank (dranken? drunk?) caffiene for over three years because of some weird sensitivity I developed to it. BUT sometimes, when I order decaf... I find out later (when I'm jittering and slapping my husband in the face) that it was, in fact, caffeinated. These test strips are great - finally a test stick you don't have to pee on to get it to work! I'm buying these. I wish I had them already.

Tonight is "husband-crashes-girls-night" We play this sometimes with Heidi and Jennie - they love it, they actually request it (like I'm not fun enough by myself!?) Husband always asks us to have a naked pillow fight or rub lotion on our boobies, because according to him, that's what girls do on "girls night." Unfortunatly, we're going to the movies (I Love You Man) so that won't be an option for tonight (as if it ever were an option). Although, I bet you five bucks (don't say "bucks" it's not ladylike) he'll still ask.

Happy Weekend! Cheers to a bunch of cactations getting drunk and having a naked pillow fight at the movies!