Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Please leave a message after the beep

Dear loyal reader(s)

I cannot come to the blog right now because I am having my assk handed to me by life. The stress is eating at my insides as if I swallowed a million tape worms and their babies. New Mexico, work, presentation, STATS FINAL, packing, dirty house, travel, AH! AH! AH! Can’t eat. Can’t sleep and I’m having a hard time being nice to people or caring about anything that anyone tells me (and unlike some people, this is abnormal for me).

It’s times like these when I realize that

A) I rarely use my brain these days and when I do it’s like starting up a rusty chain saw – still sharp but you might get tetanus if you get too close.

B) I handle stress worse with age

C) I know exactly why people snort Xanax. Honest to blog I thought about it this morning.

I am taking a break from my blog (unless I run into Taye Diggs in New Mexico and then I will totally brag about it on my blog the very second after we are done making out) until I get back.

If you stop by to see if I am back yet, leave me a message. I like when people do that. AND you can pray that the stress of my mildly eventful life doesn’t kill me.

Also: I saw a cute quote last night: “Good girls keep diaries…bad girls have blogs!”

Also: The Macy’s fine jewelry department is going out of business and everything is 60%-70% off with an additional 20% if you use your beloved red credit card. I saved some of my Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza money and with it, I’m buying myself a pearl necklace. Today. After work. Right after I check my belly button for tape worm babies.

Also: BEEP!

5 comments:

Jennie! said...

Good luck in Santa Fe! I'm sure you'll do great. I've learned a lot about drugs from you -- for instance, I had no idea you could snort Xanax.

Tam said...

oh yeah I hear crushed Xanax and a glass of wine is the recipe for success these days (or in my case it would be blacking out for three days which is why I'll never attempt it)

ohioana said...

Hey, you'll do great in Sante Fe. Plus, your mom is going to have a great time, and that has to make you feel good.

Heidi said...

First off, every time you say "pearl necklace" I laugh inside like a 14 year old boy.
Secondly, the stuff I want at Macy's is still too expensive for me.
Third, I just yelled at someone at work and rolled my eyes at them...I think you gave me your PMS. I also think you know who I did that too.
My daily confessional is that I had a jelly filled donut, brownie, and hot dog for breakfast. I think I'm going to puke.

Mermanda said...

wait a minute. is that thing about macys for real?

yeeeeeeee!!!