because winning IS everything... at least in our house

I know you've been anxiously awaiting this post, probably almost as much as I've been anxiously awaiting my birthday (two months from TODAY!) and I am really excited to tell you about my Valentine's present(s). Prior to VD husband and I had the following conversations:

Husband: What do you want for V day?

Me: Nothing.

Husband: What do you really want?

Me: A bottle of wine, the Cabernet I had the other night with my steak.

Husband: I can do that.

[two days later]

Husband: the wine is in the cabinet.

Me: ....

I think he got the picture that although it was *exactly* what I wanted, the cabinet announcement seemed a little anticlimactic for Valentine's Day. So you can imagine my surprise when there were two gifts waiting for me on Saturday night.

Back story: Husband and I like to compete with one another - mostly because we both like being right (who doesn't?) and we both like to win (again, who doesn't?) so every time we disagree we wage a friendly bet. Our dilemma lies in the fact that because we are married and now share resources (and husband is unemployed) money isn't the best bargaining tool, food is okay and betting for sex seems... well...dirty (although there is a particular kind of sex that husband tries to negotiate EVERY time and I CONTINUE TO TELL HIM IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN IN THIS LIFETIME EW!!!)

So, to that end, we spend our time asking, "What should we bet?" and then just surrender to keeping score in our minds. I'm right more often than he is, partly because his brain is filled with pleural effusion protocols and pharmaceutical side effects, but mostly because my listening skills far surpass his own and I'm just plain right a lot. This month - he just happens to be TWO up on me. First, because we passed a sign while driving and I swore it was spelled with an "e" and we turned around after our bet to find out FUSSNECKER Vacuum DID NOT have an "e" after the 'FUSS' (damn). Second, I bet that Jennifer Aniston's dad in 'He's Just Not That Into You' was Kurt Russel and it turned out IMDB says it's some other hee-haw THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE KURT RUSSEL (he wins again, double damn!)

In the spirit of competitiveness, me being wrong twice in a row (unprecedented, I tell you!) and new-found family traditions...this is what I got for Valentine's Day (complete with ribbons for double/triple/quadruple wins)


Well, actually, for now I have this...


But I swear on dark chocolate that this outhouse will not be sitting on my nightstand for long...

I love my husband every day, but on Saturday I loved him a million...PLUS ONE.

(actually PLUS TWO because he bought the wine at a local wine shop and custom ordered the trophies from a little shop in our town. He spread the February. Smooches GA-LORE for this man.)