What's for dinner?

Husband: We only have one chicken cordon bleu left.
Me: Really? Crap! What are we going to eat then?
Husband: We could split it...
Me: That won't be enough...
Husband: We want to lose weight anyway. We could have some tissue paper with water on it for a side dish!
Me: Yeah! If it was brown tissue paper it would be just like chocolate pudding. This will be a fun game to play once we have kids. Green can be salad, always water dressing though.
Husband: That will last for about two weeks...
Me: Why?
Husband: Because then our kids will be dead from us feeding them nothing but tissue paper.
Me: Oh. right.

Husband: I want soup for dinner.
Me: Let's go to the store and get you a can.
Husband: No, I want to go to a place where the soup is made already.
Me: You hate Panera.
Husband: I didn't say Panera.
Me: Okay, then where else has soup??
Husband: I was thinking Panera.

(leaving Panera, $17 later...)

Husband: I hate Panera. I wish we would have just gone to the store and bought a can of Progresso.
Me: I suggested that.
Husband: No you didn't...