Thursday, November 13, 2008

Pal-in my butt

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about things I heart and in doing so have decided to start a Friday blog segment dedicated to frivolous possessions and tangible goodies that make me smile each day.

To the opposite effect, I have also been thinking about things I don’t heart, covet or stand for. I’m pretty annoyable this week as the moons align and my endometrial shedding makes my last nerve even shorter and fiercer than otherwise allowable. Small things naturally annoy me like the minuscule paper cut on my pinky finger and the farting sound the water cooler makes when my coworkers hydrate themselves. But today, I am utterly annoyed by Sarah Palin. Over the last few days, every time I turn to CNN radio hoping to hear a depressing run down of the plunging Dow, closing car plants, socialist take-overs, and which 5 star hotel is hosting the AIG execs for a playboy party. Instead, all I hear is miss ‘I’m a Maverick’ chattering on verbatim from her stump speech. For someone who lost an election ten days ago and the nations respect long before that – how can she still be in the spotlight?

Maureen Dowd wrote a great column today about reigning in this wild moose and putting her to pasture. I don’t care if she’s sorting through panties to figure out which ones belong to John McCain and which ones belong to her. I don’t care if she doesn’t know if Asia is a continent or country. I don’t care that she thinks she encompasses the American Dream with her crazy religion and natural gas backyard. Someone send her a memo in large print, lower case, block letters, with monosyllabic phrases letting her know p.s. you.lost.

Press, you hated her before, and now you’re in bed with her? Well– if not in bed, in living room, eating her road kill chili. You brought her down, why raise her back up? Leave her on the ground to fend for herself. That’s what she’s prided herself in doing all along. Trig, Track, Fork, Willow and X-ray can live with her in a boot and if Americans decide the exorcist is coming – they’ll ring her on her hamburger phone. Please stop covering her. Please stop letting her piercing Golly-Gee, Aw-shucks, Gotcha, mavericky voice permeate the airwaves. She is out of touch with reality, republican or otherwise and lost an election because she was grossly over confidante and vastly under qualified. If this is what we have to look forward to for the next four years, I’m afraid Hope, Change, Liberty and Freedom are gonna have to contend with Wasilla Hillbilly in an ultimate fighting championship. My money is on Liberty, after all, Bush has really pissed her off in the last eight years.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s favorites segment. I heart it.

1 comment:

Jennie! said...

Palin's voice is like nails on a chalkboard to me. It makes me want to jab something sharp in my ear.