I don't care how good the tomatoes are!

**breaking news**
I just went to the bathroom at work. And although I know you are on the edge of your seats to know the juicy details of my trip [ew.], so that we can still be friends, I will highlight only one detail.

there.was.a.girl.sitting.on.the.pot.talking.on.her.cell.phone.

I walk in, shut the stall door, check the seat for mess, unzip pants, squat and pray that my thighs hold out... then I hear... "mmm I like the tomatoes on top."

What!? At first I thought this freak of nature was talking to me, so I stayed super quiet and then realized she was in fact talking on her phone. I tried to be even quieter and tried to pee in silence, because EVEN I'M EMBARRASSED FOR THE OTHER PERSON ON THE LINE TO HEAR ME TINKLE!!

"Yeah we can't wait to see you guys" [pssssssssssssss]
"Nathan loved his birthday" [fart] "present" [plop, plop]

YES, yes she did!! She farted and poohed all the while talking on the phone. She was also SITTING ON A PUBLIC TOILET because there is no way you can hoover AND talk on the phone that long!

Please please help me stop this behavior! I might even have to create a facebook group entitled, "No one should talk on their cell phone while using a public toilet!"