Thursday, October 9, 2008

Just a spoon full of crazy

I've told you more than once, that I'm a little bit crazy. I think all of us are actually. There are concrete things that make me crazy and then there are imaginary things that make me crazy. The imaginary things are the ones that worry the husband. I guess I like to accept all of the crazy so the imaginary kind makes me...uh... fun... and unique!

Like for example, sometimes, at night, I think that if I sleep without covers on and a knife-yielding killer enters my bedroom – I would be a goner. But if I cover up with 400 thread count, I might just be okay. Bed Sheets=knife protection

I think that if I turn the water all the way up as hot as it will go while I am washing dishes [no matter how much it burns me] the dishes will be cleaner. Scalding H2O=cleaner dishes

I think that if I use just a tinny weeny bit more detergent than recommended for a “large load” of laundry, my clothes will be cleaner.

I think if I turn the burner up higher, even if the water is already boiling, it will boil better.

I always shave my right leg and then my left in the shower

I always put lotion on my left leg before my right [gotta be fair!]

I have the sense that if these two things are not done in that order, bad things will happen to me.

I drive myself nuts as to whether or not I am actually superstitious and have spent entirely too much time brainstorming things that may or may not happen to me after I walked inside with an open umbrella last week and almost hit a black cat last night with my car [after it ran out in front of my car, crossing the street].

When I am shopping I always round down to make the sale seem better. $14.99 = $14= deal!

Sometimes I think that shopping online doesn't count as shopping.

Sometimes I think if I don’t check my credit card balance it will remain the same, if not decrease.

I think if I spray an entire bottle of cleaning product on the shower – it will be cleaner than if I just used a few squirts.

I kiss my cat on the face and believe she has the ability to interpret my affection.

I set my alarm for a randomly-specific time just so that I can push snooze… for almost two hours. Sometimes I do it on Saturdays for fun.

When I have a bad dream, I immediately want to go back to sleep to correct it. [I was mauled by a lion the other night - when I went back to sleep, he simply licked me.]

I believe that when you go out to eat, if you don't set your fork down on the dirty table [rather, place it on a plate or napkin] you won't die of E. Coli

I want to find a nerdy smart girl [who is also a democrat, loves cats, and wears trendy glasses] and force my brother to marry her so that I can have a friend that's related to me [I would also say Jewish but since my bro’s a gentile I need to throw the girl a bone. Evangelicals need not apply though.]

I could go on and on [and on] seriously – but what I really want to know is...
How are you crazy?

1 comment:

Jennie! said...

Um, that thing about the sheets and the killer is totally true.