Where the kisses are hers and hers and his...

So as I mentioned yesterday, I am trying to hook up my super single friend, B, with my favorite blogger, Jennie. I have told them both about each other, in raw unadulterated terms of course, and hoped it would result in a chance (er, uh, arranged slash forced) meeting.

Yesterday, I got an email from B, with some concerns. Paraphrased (er, uh, plagiarized) as follows: [in my mind, for some reason, the "modest apartment" was the Three's Company house]

Scene One: Living room of a modest apartment. Two people, on opposite ends of a long couch, are reading from their respective books. A telephone rings.

B: ...
Jennie: ...
B: Phone's ringing.
J: Yeah.
B: (turns page) Think they'll leave a message?
J: I really hate being interrupted when I'm reading.
B: Yeah, me too. Sometimes I even turn off my cell phone.
J: Can you not talk to me right now? (Turns a page.) I'm reading.

Scene Two: A bedroom. One small bedside lamp provides the only light in the room. The woman is sitting up in bed, reading from a small booklight. A man enters.

B: Hey, babe.
Jennie: Ehhhh.
B: What's up?
J: Uh, nothing. It's just - it's just that my friend Tamara said you were muscular.
B: Really? Oh. Well, I mean, does it bother you that I'm not?
J: Well, it's just that...you're kind of built like a twelve-year-old.
B: Hey, c'mon, that's not fair. I'm not built like a twelve-year-old...
J: Yeah, like a twelve-year-old albino bearcub or something.
B: Well, but I'm doing push-ups when I wake up in the morning.
J: Yeah, right. You do eight push-ups, and then you get all sore. (She moves out of bed, goes to phone.)
B: What are you doing now?
J: (Into the phone) Hello, Tamara? I hate you!

I have come to the conclusion that these are both plausible scenarios. Futhermore, I have concluded that the first date will not involve books nor will it occur in a bedroom. Furthermost, I have come to my final conclusion when I say readers can't be choosers. [endearing cliche adapted for this scenario].