I'll have a window seat and a red-headed slut

Finally they use a hot red head to sell something…just not sure what it is yet. Delta has ingeniously developed a way to “entice” fliers into watching their benign pre-flight safety video. I assume the marketing masterminds teamed up with the safety nerds and together they have moved away from the 1980’s B-movie format and have opted to let auburn locks and seductive eyebrows speak for themselves. “Deltalina”, the slutty real life stewardess, will be shagging more than just the pilots after the new “safety video” is released in friendly skys across America next month. At-home voyers have been studying up on how to securely fasten their flight belts at record numbers since she was set free on the internets. Computer desks everywhere are seriously on fire with this chick, even my loins tingled as I double clicked the youtube feed. This girl is amazingly gorgeous and her aknowledgement of a no-smoking device may have just launched her a TV/Modeling career.

Katherine Lee is a German-Hispanic flight attendant with creamy skin and an Angelina Jolie-ish pout. She’s a Capricorn, enjoys hiking and travel in her free time and her lips double as a flotation device. Apparently E-Harmony execs also weighed in on this marketing [er uh safety] message. Wow. She likes travel. There’s a shocker. Is this chick looking for someone to share her frequent flyer miles with or does she really want you to secure your own mask before helping those around you? Don’t get me wrong, even I wouldn’t kick her out of bed, but I ‘m just not sure if her naughty finger shaking has anything to do with safety. Was there an epidemic of improper seat belt use? Were passengers not using their seat as a flotation device upon water landing? [I seriously am dying to take one of those things to the beach] Maybe a 12 year old sat in the emergency exit row and now because of that little bastard the entire plane has to be sexually frustrated before take-off [while re-learning the valuable in-flight tips of course].

I don’t know if this message will resonate with all passengers. Perhaps if Will Truman agrees to push a drink cart and hand out minature pillows we can create a gender neutral safety experience. This is America right? Anywho, next time I fly Delta remind me to ask of the carpet matches the drapes.