There's just something about weddings

Even though I'm long past the wedding planning phase of my adult life and pray that I will NEVER have a need to marry again - I still *love* to look at wedding pictures. Wedding trends, wedding dresses - I love it!

Recently, I stumbled upon this Hollywood affair on Design*Sponge and it brought sparkles to my eyes.

The detail on the bodice of that ankle-length dress is just charming and the flowers with little pops of black looked both bold and classic.




And if you are like me and can't get enough of weddings then browse on over to Mermanda's blog because she's been sharing billions of joyous pictures of her peacock encrusted nuptials! Swoon worthy INDEED!

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go flip through my wedding album... for the third time this week :)

Bridal blogs are addicting

Although my wedding has long been planned and celebrated, I still find myself drawn to pictures of beautiful gowns and weddings. I went to Barnes and Noble the other night to thumb through some baby name books and couldn't help but stop to look at bridal magazines. My husband was SUCH a doll during our wedding planning process, he let me buy EVERY BRIDAL MAGAZINE ON THE SHELF FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR! He told me he was pretty confident this was the only time in my life I'd be planning a wedding of my own, so I was welcome to spend $5-$10 on glossy pages containing mostly ads and overpriced gimmicks - if just to feel part of it all.

Part of it I was. I think, in many ways I was more present on my wedding day than any other day in my life. It was as if my senses we all fluttering around me and I was caught up in the most amazing whirlwind of love, appreciation and admiration of the very thing that is spending the rest of your life with someone.

And maybe that's why today when I saw this stunning RED-HEADED BRIDE I was transported back to my own day. The day when my beautiful family began.

When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out

I went to Shabbat services at Temple Friday night for the first time in a long time. Partly because I'm lazy and partly because services are led by members in the summertime (which I don't care for that much). When I entered to sanctuary I was overwhelmed with memories of our wedding. I have been back and sat through services several times since, yet Friday was different. All I could picture was husband and I up on the bima (raised platform) saying our vows to one another. I was thinking about what a special day that was and trying to remember every single minute of it. The words, the tears, the laughter and pride. I wanted to relive that day a million times over just to feel the wonder of those moments again. I spent the entire service thinking about that day, and much of the car ride home. I was thankful that I could walk into a room and be reminded of such joy and togetherness. Then I was saddened because in 10 short months we will live somewhere else. And although I welcome our new adventure with an open heart and mind, Friday night Shabbat services will no longer be held in the sacred place where I married my beloved. I really never imagined I could love someone THIS much. It boggles my mind.


::Le sigh::

On a more narcissistic note, in the new Vera Bradley catalog I found a contest where people vote on a wedding photo of your bridal party.

Will you GO VOTE FOR ME?

Pretty, pretty please. I really want to win (something, anything, come on people! Go Team Tam!)

Gimmie some LENS FLARE!

Kj and B's wedding photos are posted! They are back from Italy and settling their tired bones in Providence, RI getting ready to start residency in July.

Note: Do not have a baby or go to the ER in Rhode Island on July 1st. Instead, wait until at least July 3rd when they know what they're doing :)

*husbands face is blocked out with a microphone for anonymity

The best wedding gifts come from Uncle Sam

Today is tax day AND two days until the day we celebrate the blessed day of my birth. Every year I think of all the things I would say to someone who tried to get out of getting me a gift by offering up a tax-related excuse.

Perhaps, “I wanted to get you a really great gift, but we just got killed on our taxes this year…” - Anonymous

or this, “Uncle Sam really stuck it to me backwards this week, sorry it’s only a card.” - Unknown

And, although this has never actually happened – the possibility is so offensive that I must prepare myself – like a bomb shelter or a drop down oxygen mask. I will save myself the public humiliation with sharp-tongued poise and relentless badgering until the present comes to fruition. Pull out your 401K, make a false insurance claim, sell your kid for all I care- I just want a wrapped affirmation of my birth!

Please don’t assume I’m selfish or narcissistic or (god forbid) fishing for presents – OF COURSE I AM – this is a frickin’ online journal that I write about myself and YOU read it! Blogs, by definition, require narcissism. A blog with any other pretense would simply be a pink diary with a hello kitty lock that your brother breaks into every other day to see if he can find the word TAMPON!

But enough about me. Today is tax day so we should celebrate. Because I got a kick ASK return. Don’t be jealous because I make like no money and my husband doesn’t have a job and we pay like five zillion dollars a week for his doctor school. So what if the government feels bad for us and gave us back everything we paid in hopes that we could throw away our holey underwears and perhaps stop cutting open the toothpaste to scrape the crusty remains from inside the plastic tube. Maybe if everyone used old egg shells as exfoliator (screw you Bath & Body Works!) we wouldn’t BE in this recession?!

Anyway, we asked that our taxes be returned to us in one dollar bills and we piled them up in the middle of our living room and jumped in them for hours squealing, "We're RICH!" (FOR NO RAISIN!) Then, after buying three packs of orange pez and a nose hair trimmer, we paid off our wedding. It’s almost like that amazing day was free because the nice government gave us the money to celebrate our love. I bet the revenue peoples read my blog and know how awesome my husband is. Maybe, if you get an amazing husband (with no job and huge amounts of debt) the governments will give you money too! Did I mention our wedding is PAID OFF!? What a (tax) relief.

Which one of these couples would you trust with your life?

My (early) birthday STILL has me feeling giddy (a near record for residual good-moodedness) and I still get to look forward to my actual birthday on Friday. AND we had yummy Chinese food for dinner last night so that definitely helped because the lack-luster Ohio weather isn't.

Have you heard the new Soulja Boy song "Kiss Me Through The Phone"

Baby I know that you like me, you could be my wifey
You can be my Bonnie, I can be your Clyde
Six, seven, eight, triple, nine, eight, two, one, two

I heart this song, it is my jam. But I'm forced to wonder, why does he give out a phone number? How many people do you think have called that number by now? I want to kiss my husband through the phone *all the time* so now I can sing about it.

To complete the random circle that is this post, our friends Kj and B are getting married in a little over three weeks! B and husband have been friends since like forever, I actually think they used to take baths together... so that's probably why husband is in the wedding (which is awesome because he looks HOT in a tux *swoon*). PLUS, the wedding will be my first trip to Minnes-OH-TAH! I think Eskimos live there, so I'll tell you if I see one!

They just got their engagement photos back and I think the pictures make them look very hot, successful and intimidating. Type A power couple. Kind of like, "Yeah, we're in love, but don't even think about fucking with us because we cut people for a living." CHECK IT OUT FOR YOURSELF!


Meanwhile, our pictures gave off this impression: "Dur, uh, it might be romantical if we did that thing where I kiss you in the eye..." In addition to comments that we looked like we were shooting a Viagra commercial. Type A? possible. Power Couple? laughable.


Speaking of weddings, tonight after Yoga I am meeting with our photographer to approve our wedding album (286 days later--totally my fault) Then we're going to grab a beer, because we're tight like that. I'm also going to show off my new camera - maybe she can give me some hot tips!

Did I ever show you how I danced with my dad?

My mom watching us.



And then there were three. My photographer calls this flair. I call it, magical.

There are more than five, I just listed five because she made me

Today I was able to capitalize on Jennie!'s laziness by serving as her stunt-double on The Collective. Check out my post: The Five Worst Things About Being a Newlywed. I don't think they'll ask me back...



[pin by Etsy ButtonEmpire]

TheKnot Message Boards...

OMG you guys... you know how I used to poke fun at how *crazy* some of the brides on theknot are? Well THIS IS SO FUNNY!!!

She had them Apple Bottom Jeans, Boots with the fur, whole club lookin' at her

Our wedding day was the most amazing day of my entire life. I know that sounds totally cliché to say things like “amazing” and “magical” and “beautiful” about a 24 hour period, but I swear people it was surreal. It’s going to take me a million posts and I still won’t be able to tell you every detail about how great it was.

The entire week was so great starting with, *my bachelorette party*. Heidi and Scott planned a kick ass time and 15 of us got all cutesied up and went out on the town. We started at the wine gallery – where we ate a posh meal and each chose a different flight of wine. It was like the calm before the storm. We chatted and sipped wine and laughed and it was really great. Well until the wrinkly, 60 year-old waitress says:

Waitress: So you’re getting married and you bring your boyfriend to your bachelorette party?
[My intended response]: “No you old bag, he’s my man of honor. Gay. Gay. Gay. He wouldn’t touch me with a ten foot pole and from the looks of his popped collar and man-bag you should know he’s a flamer! Get with the picture… Girls. Night. Out. (and Scott)
Me: …

Next we went next door to therapy café for $5 martini night. Everyone got along swimmingly which just made me so happy. Well, everyone but “A” who we’re pretty sure is prego after she wouldn’t drink the entire weekend and sat down during our wedding ceremony [more to come on that story later]. There were a bjillion multicolored martini’s being consumed – my favorite being a grape one. Finally these nasty guys wouldn’t stop putting straws in my cousin's back pocket and insisted on leaning over the wall to stare at our group in the creepiest way possible… so we left.

This is the point that my party turns from a sophisticated girls night to a trashed-up bachelorette party. As we are all walking three blocks across town at 11pm [my mom and aunt included!] to the gay bar, Scott pulls out of his man-bag the appropriate accessory trashy items that every soon-to-be wife must wear. I got a sash that said “bachelorette” and a veil [with penises on it]. He then passed out “party girl” sashes to everyone else along with glow in the dark penis straws, which were very well received. After I posed in front of a van advertising strippers and my cousin flashed her fake I.D. in front of her mom - it was time to dance. My belly was sloshing after a flight at the wine bar, the martinis, a glow shot that kj bought for me, and a beer… I almost puked up the double shot of buttery nipple that my mom bought us all [It’s her favorite shot, so we had to do one.] Watching my mom and my aunt dance to Apple Bottom Girls, surrounded by homosexual people and a mostly naked and very gay shot boy [whom kj flirted with most of the night…] was a memory I will have FOREVER. Scott is an even better dancer than I remembered and this night reminded me of so many nights in college that we shook our booties at the club. I totally heart Scott and all of my friends that made this night so special. It also made a lasting impression on my mom and aunt who requested the song again at our wedding reception only to get a weird looks and this response from our DJ, “Um, I don’t have stuff like that.” We had a blast and I was in bed by 2:15am. Job well done ladies!!

Just got back from Mexico... I'm marriedl!!

CHECK OUT OUR WEDDING SLIDE SHOW!

sweetie, don't twirl your sparkler too close to the chocolate fountain.

So sorry to choke everyone up yesterday during my engamentaversary blog. Now you guys know what I am like every morning when I’m driving to work and think about my wedding day!

We had lots of wedding meetings yesterday, FI did a great job putting the smack down on the hotel, we met with the temple, and the coordinator [hired solely boss our families around for the rehearsal and day of the wedding]. All went well, but our meeting at the temple was the most fun. The executive director at the temple is also the cantorial soloist for our wedding. He is actually punchier than FI, and we all get along swimmingly [except for when he referred to FI's wedding ring as a shackle!] The temple has been more than accommodating for us and so far the only thing they have vetoed is rose petals. The conversation went something like this.

Scene: Two gorgeously attractive people meet in a conference room with the temple secretary [a gentile] and the punchy cantor/executive director to discuss ceremony details.

FI: …and the aisle will be lined with petals
ED: real petals?
FI: let me rephrase that. Can we line the aisle with petals?
ED: real petals?
Sec: real petals might get ground into the carpet and be hard to clean up.
FI: Wait, no. Actually I was thinking of using blueberries… real ones. Would that be better?
ED: Oh yes! Yes, ripe berries will be perfect. Why don’t you hang chocolate fountains from the chuppah too?
FI: you read my mind.
Me: Our four flower girls can stomp on some of the blueberries and dip the rest in the fountain while dancing wildly in their white dresses.
ED: Exactly what I was thinking.
Me: We are also handing out sparklers to everyone so they can light them up and twirl around inside the synagogue like, “Happy Fourth of July!”
FI: ...and then we're having a bacon fight.
Sec: [looking scared and quizzical]
ED: Yes – wow this sounds more fun that your real wedding.
FI: It seriously does. Is any of that an option?
Sec: … How about silk petals?
FI: Okay, silk petals it is!

[Mind you, this was after ED said all of our readers had to be the same height or else he would pick my dad up and set him on a pile of phone books in the middle of the reading, so he could reach the mic]

I like the bacon fight idea the best, just to give it some jewy flavor. This was my favorite meeting yet. And it made me think about all of the reasons why whoever thought of having a chocolate fountain at a wedding was high on crack.

and so it began...

One year ago today my wonderful FI proposed to me in Cannon Beach, OR overlooking Haystack rock. It was the most beautiful sight and one of the best moments of my life. I cannot believe all of that was a year ago already, I cannot believe we’ve been planning for a year and we will be married next week. Everything is so very exciting right now. I find myself reflecting at the strangest moments of my day [due to wedding excitement and, in part, to impending menstruation]

When I was 22, just before meeting FI, I was so content being single. I was single all through college, with the occasional fling here and there, but mostly used that time learning to be independent and proud in my own skin. Grad school really helped solidify that for me, my chosen field helped me identify with being a professional and accepting social responsibilities. I learned even more about myself, about my strengths and weaknesses [and learned that I was definitely not a republican]. That was six years ago. In September of 2002 I met FI. We didn’t get off to the best start and really felt each other to be brash and conceded [and hot]. But eventually, we found ourselves on the same page more often than not. I never thought I could actually be with someone this long and not get sick of them. Furthermore, I was never keen to the idea of living with someone and having them around you ALL OF THE TIME. And although I have those evenings when I wish I didn’t have to explain to someone why I feel like a limp noodle and want to lay on the couch or just come home from work eat a bowl of ramen and paint my nails without asking what someone else wants to do or eat – but those days are few and far between – I love cohabitation. Yes, living in SIN rocks. I love having someone to cuddle with at night, someone to cook food with, go to for advice, and someone to talk to while I poo [boundaries and modesty are a thing of the past ladies].

I made the very best choice in the world for a husband and answering “Are you Serious?” one year ago, transformed this crazy love friendship into forever. It was the day that FI said, "I do, do you?" that set the ball rolling. We were very adamant that during our ceremony we don’t want the Rabbi to say “today is the beginning” because for us, it’s not. It’s a great building point for “something more”, but our adventure began almost six years ago when we met, and 6 months later when we started dating, even more when we moved in together 15 months from that. We grew when we bought our first house in 2005 and when he started medical school in 2006. We've grown stronger and closer with each job I’ve loved and hated and each new place we’ve traveled to. We’ve grown a lot over the last year of wedding planning and even in the last week of reminiscing and appointments. We will live our adventure right up until we say ‘I do’ next Friday, and then we’ll turn around, dance with friends, and live it some more. I have an amazing life and a great person to share it with. Yay to our ENGAGEMENTAVERSARY! Cheers to us!!

Just step over her, please.

Our wedding is in 14 days. That's exactly two weeks from today. Two weeks from right now I will be sitting in a chair having my hair and make up done. That is so weird. Last night after work FI and I... met with the florist, picked up my [perfectly fixed] dress, bought pads for my shoes, went and bought napkins and candle holders, met with the cake lady, fought in the car, and had our final menu tasting. Other than the fighting in the car [sheesh weddings are stressful] things went smoothly. Only 699 more things on the "to do" list..uuhg!

OH AND OH...KJ! GOT ENGAGED!! YAY KJ! Her FI, B, is best friends with my FI from high school. I have only met her once "in the flesh" [hehe, I've always wanted to type that], but through blogging, feminism and our love of stool softeners, we've become sisters. B is a groomsmen [not a bridesmate] - they will get a good little taste of wedding crazy when they come.

Advice for KJ:
1. Don't have Bridesmaids, if you want to keep a girl as a friend DON'T ask her to be in your wedding. OR ask your bitchiest friend and slap her in wedding rage and chalk it up to BM duty.
2. Don't spend lots of money on invitations - it's stupid. [Unless you're rich, then go ahead and shimmer paper your ass off]
3. Get EVERYTHING writing. We had to put it in writing last night for our caterer to put butter on the table!
4. If FI has an opinion [these will be few and far between] let him have his way.
5. Don't spend a shit load on the dress, it's not worth it. Wear THIS!
6. Don't go to an ESL seamstress for alterations.
7. Use THEKNOT message boards for advice, but do not participate in crazy rants.
8. Friday and Sunday weddings are WAY CHEAPER. [again, rich, don't worry about it]
9. Make lots of effort to include your [and his] moms,aunts, & gmas. Even small little things that you don't even think about [the moment you put on your dress] mean the world to them.
10. Elope.

I also told KJ it would be great if one year from now a magical party with everything she ever dreamed of could just appear. IF I had a wand that worked, I'd bippity boppity boo you that as a wedding present [that and I'm cheap]. I know my party will be magical - but the yellow brick road is lined with blood, sweat and tears [and a mangled Philippino seamstress].

You are the reason we have a DO NOT PLAY list

The weekend was fun, but way too short. Why is it that Monday and Tuesday can drag on like the middle ages – yet Saturday and Sunday fly by? Friday we chose food for our rehearsal dinner and attempted to choose music for our ceremony. I say attempted because the crazy guy that plays organ for our temple basically told us what would be played – I thought he was going to flip his lid when I asked for a song change between the processional and my entrance. Saturday we chose chairs and went to a very expensive wedding at the Dayton Country Club. Do you know it costs like 10K a month or something to belong to a country club? Anyway the wedding was officiated by a large priest who was a little overindulgent,

[paraphrased]Excerpt: Today is about god and prayer, this union is a prayer from god. Although the groom’s mother introduced them, she was merely a vector in god’s plan. This is all about god and god’s plan for this couple. We should all be prayerful of this divine path that god has created between bride in groom. For this is not a union of these two people, no no, it is a union of three, because god is at the center of all holy marriages. God. God. God. Let us pray.

FI ALWAYS cracks up a catholic weddings, this one was no exception. I don’t even think it’s because he’s Jewish – even I can’t help but think some of the blabbing sounds provocative. We have actually written every aspect of our ceremony, avoiding all crazy talk. We do love god, but we are not IN LOVE with god. So once all of the talk about a god threesome was over – we went to the reception.

We arrived to lots of drinking and yummy appetizers and lots of buzz about the band, Super T. Super T played at Jenna Bush’s wedding a few weeks ago – and the bride and groom had booked them long before they got big. The lead singer [super T] put on a superman costume for the second set and rides that train until the end of the night. Although one of our friends complained that when you have a band you cannot request fun dance songs like ‘bust a nut’ – the wedding was enjoyable. I looked at the band website and its 10K to book them for an event. What?! Needless to say, we will be having a DJ. And I have now placed 'bust a nut’ and anything else by notorious BIG on the DNP list.

My boyfriend's back and I'm gonna be in trouble

FI is done with the boards and I now have my boyfriend/FI/Future Husband/Friend/Lover back. He is slowly adjusting back into real life, this will take some time. I might even have to show him how to use his beloved vacuum again. But last night, after the exam – he was definitely a changed guy. No more of the nerdy zombie I’ve been living with for the past four weeks or so.

I actually gave him a full 24 hours before he was required to dive in head first into the tsunami that is our wedding – but alas – he has already started [and called me 25 times at work today]. We are picking our menu for the rehearsal tonight and meeting with the organist for the ceremony music. Yes internets, I think our marriage will be safe and in three short weeks we will become man and wife. Well he is already a man – but I will be a wify.

We get to sleep in together for the first time in a long time tomorrow. I can’t wait! Oh and then we are going to pick out chairs for the reception – chairs people?! You have to pick chairs! Take it from one of THE MOST indecisive people on the planet: Weddings=Decisions. It must be a life test that the industry thought up, because by the time you’re done with all of this picking and choosing, baby names or school districts will seem like a piece of [wedding] cake! Happy Weekend!

The sensory receptor is broken, you can try the backdoor.

This has been a crazy week. I picked my dress up from my [very Philippinio] seamstress Tuesday only to find out she had botched the job. Yes, you heard me correctly, my most coveted gown, she screwed it up. She was supposed to add a simple bustle to the back… instead added a b-dazzled pearly bustle. UM DO YOU KNOW WHY THERE ISN’T A SINGLE BEAD ON MY DRESS…. BECAUSE I HATE THEM! Then, and worse yet, she totally f’ed the back where she was supposed to take it out 1/2 inch at the top of the zipper! It looks like she stapled a “V” into the zipper! What?! I thought alterations were to be completely UNNOTICABLE! F, F, F and when I asked her why she added a b-dazzly bustle she said, “oh soooo pretty.” That’s all she said! And when I asked her why the back looked like shit she said, “no, no that what supposed to look like, good, it good. ” No ma’am, it's not GOOD IT GOOD, IT BAD, IT BAD!! So after getting nowhere with her, I spent $136 to have my dress F’ed. I now have to bring it to some nice little American lady this evening to see if she can fix it... in english. THEN, my dress was bought off another bride, so it needs cleaned. The cleaning company cannot take my dress until June 23 and well get it back to me on JULY 1ST! That’s cutting it close people! So although I have spent the last 48 hours in near tears, I regress. It is only a dress. No one but me will notice the Philippino shit job and hey, July 1st is better than July 5th right? Sigh.

I have filled almost every night between now and the wedding with appointments, and I approved the final copy of the program yesterday [man was that a bitch to write]. Now all I have to do is finish the other 199 things on my list and convince Bax and Heidi to come over and help me assemble, hole punch, and ribbon the programs. I have wine girls; you just can’t drink it near my programs.

In other news, FI takes the boards today [correction: Is taking them as we speak]. Last night he asked me if I had something special planned for him, “this is a really big deal for me, and for us”. SHIT. SHIT. SHIT. I consider myself a very thoughtful person, but with a boss on my ass at work, on top of the wedding drama, ALL of my thought receptors a full – I spend most of my days trying not to cry and pound my fists in the wall. The specialness of this milestone indeed slipped my mind. Granted, every time I’ve planned something special for him he’s totally unenthused [like the surprise bday party I threw for him and it took him an hour to figure out why all of his friends were eating at the same place we were] but he was right, I should have planned something. I should plan something! I need to find a happy hour, hire a clown, get some fireworks, and ask the band to learn our song, “Drift Away” by Uncle Kracker. Why is this our song? I have no idea, it just is. But alas, I am at work, have to get that damn dress fixed tonight and I don’t know any clowns. I think I can find a happy hour and convince some people to join us. I’ll even be the DD. This IS a special milestone, I can’t even express it with a party or a card – I am SO PROUD of him and all of his hard work – I will have to wear something extra slutty to bed tonight… that'll do it!