Monday, June 29, 2009

Fo dey werk week

Remember those awesome pants that I ripped the crotch out of last week? Don't tell me you don't remember. Because you do. It’s not every day that I flash you my stuff covered by a thin layer of pink cotton. Anyways, in attempting to "fix" said pants my mom used her fancy sew machine to stitch up the koosh and then, for good measure, proceeded to sew the legs together STRAIGHT UP TO MY BELLYBUTTON. She meant well, I swear, but I spent a good half hour cutting them apart. I wore my newly mended ‘trousers’ (as my ol’ gma would say) to work yesterday, AND THE HEM FELL OUT. SUH-NUV-AH GUNS! It’s not even like I bought the pants at Odd Lots or Dollar General (do they even SELL pants?) – they were from The LIMITED already! Limited is right! Limited support in my crotch and ankles.

Remember those green FUBU pants you had from Junior High that you would squeeze into in undergad to make yourself feel good? Now thems were some quality pants. Am I right ladies?

[Que quote that old people say] “They just don’t make pants like they used to”

So because some underage worker in a third world country is a total slack-off, and my girl parts are apparently bustin' out all over, I will have to retire my gray work pants. That retirement leaves me with two pairs of work pants. I do laundry on SUNDAYS.

2 pairs of work pants + 5 work days + 1 laundry day DOES NOT EQUAL FRESHNESS!

I am forced to go shopping on my lunch break. FORCED I TELL YOU!

I am also forced to drive through Chick-fil-A because I have absolutely no desire to eat the lean cuisine sitting in my mini fridge. It’s just that kind of day people.

8 comments:

Joe G. said...

Your blog is boring. Also, you talk about girl parts too much. Those are icky.

Jennie! said...

Yum, Chick-fil-A. I really wanted that on Sunday but they were closed. Why do they do that?

Joe G. said...

Because Jesus doesn't want you to have chicken on Sunday.

You can call me, 'Sir' said...

I think chicken on Sundays was why God smote the Canaanites. I believe I remember reading that in Leviticus, so it's probably true. It was sandwiched between stoning women and how cloven-hoofed animals are unclean.

Leviticus kind of sucked.

Remember when you asked for more comments? That probably seemed like a good idea at the time, didn't it?

me said...

This is my third attempt. I dont think your comment 'bot', likes me. I, by the way, am sarah g. It always signs my name as; me. Then often I'm too lazy to write you a second comment verifying who i am, or rather; who is 'me'.

My words have been; lushags, drozoid and wyahl. Use those in a story, would you?

I like your blog, semi-colons and the word lushags.

Tam said...

omg I just had a comment orgazim.

No chick-fil-a on Sunday because of Jesus. But they should have a special drive through for us jewish peoples. Because, Sunday, WHO CARES.

Mermanda said...

Um, Tam. Hi.

Just take your pants to the tailor. Moms (contrary to popular belief) are not good at everything. Including sewing. When I asked my mom to hem my pants, I actually ended up ripping it out and taking it to a professional. Because my mom? Used BLACK thread on charcoal pants. Very subtle, mom. Oy.

Tam said...

ya my mom used WHITE thread on charcoal pants :) Oy indeed.