Wednesday, February 11, 2009

like red hots, only crunchier

I went to the dentist this morning and you might be thinking:

Uh, the dentist sucks. They pick and poke at my gums and make me feel guilty for not flossing. They squirt cold water on my teeth and then suck it back out with a weird straw/vacuum thingy which almost always catches part of my lip and makes that 'sssuck POP!' sound when the hygienist rips it back off. They wear a mask which almost turns my stomach to know it's preventing her from getting last week's breakfast in her eye OR ELSE it's protecting her from bad breath but I'm hoping it's the former and she wears it with all her patients. They always, ALWAYS try to talk to you and ask you questions - forgetting the fact that they have their squeaky gloved hands and tools in your mouth. And last but not least they are always out of my favorite toothpaste flavor.

Well think again, suckers!

My dental office is *UH-MAY-ZZING* When I say I look forward to the dentist I know you're all like "pshaw Tam, no one likes the dentist..blah blah (see above)" but I am for 100% real here. When we moved to Dayton I sent out an APB at work asking for recommendations and I got a ton of hits for this office. They all said, "My ten year old loves going to the dentist now! can you believe it?" No. No I don't believe you. You are lying. But now I have experienced the wonderfulness that is this office and I'm a believer.

I swear to hotdogs that the girls in that office are mainlining giddy happiness pills. They get two paid weeks off a year when the dentist goes on vacation. They are always smiling and talking about how much they heart their jobs. If you know me, I normally would say that makes me want to puke and nobody actually LIKES their job. Bye bye pessimism, hello happy clean teeth. Today the dentist comes in and says, "I'm excited because it's one of the girls birthday's so we're celebrating at Red Robin and we're going to eat food and cake. Stuff that's good, but not so good for your gut and teeth. My wife says I shouldn't eat so much junk food." See? One time my boss brought me back a bag of half-eaten nuts from a conference as a present. That, my dolls, is the extent of my workplace hospitality.

This place is for realsies. I get the same hygienist each time, and she is just sweet as can be. She gifts me the special floss tape stuff (the one that's named after a personal lubricant), and tells me, "You have such beautiful teeth and aways do such an excellent job caring for them." Yes, please tell me more of this (and who cares if I tried to bite open a pickle jar last week). She ALWAYS has the cinnaminny toothpaste I love and today she gave me my free toothbrush in a little clear bag with hearts on it...for valentine's day.

And you know what? I still have a few of those cinnamon toothpaste crunchies left in my teeth. You know, the little sandy bursts that they polish your teeth with that don't rinse away. Yum. I think I am going to savor them for the next six months until I get to go to the dentist again. Don't judge.

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