I told you I'd eat them on a boat or off a goat Sam!

FI and I eat lunch together – one of the many reasons we are getting married and not breaking up. Medical school has been tough on us both and it’s nice to meet up for lunch since I work in the same building where he studies. All of that will end June 12th when he takes the boards and starts rotating through hospitals. I am sad, because I look forward to my lunches with him. He also comes into my office and eats snacks out of my drawer. I put them in there for him, if I actually want to eat them myself, I hide them somewhere else [just like at home]. Even my secretary puts food out for him. Its like he’s the office dog, sometimes she’ll say “I’ll set these out here, maybe J will eat them.” I actually told her yesterday to stop feeding him because I'm trying to keep his weight down.

So, anyway, today at lunch we sat with some other medical schoolers, which I don’t generally like to do because it means I have to try really hard to have benign conversation and laugh at innuendos about the cremaster muscle. Today was fine though – it was actually with a few guys that make me laugh. FI was eating Cheetos [as usual] and found a particularly odd-shaped one which he admired before popping it into his mouth. His colleagues, er uh, classmates, were making fun of him and saying that he will probably have blocked arteries one day.

FI: Well if I do have a blocked artery I bet there is a cheeto in it.
Boys: [laughing at the realization of this statement]
FI: … and if there did end up being a cheeto in there… I would eat it.

I sat there and thought about a bloody cheeto being pulled from his chest cavity, then, before the surgeon has a chance to put down the forceps, FI grabs his hand, free’s the mangled cheeto and pops it in his mouth. He even smiles and says “see, still crunchy!” I bet even under all of the blood that damn cheeto was still orange. Yes, I have a *very* active internal dialog, which may disturb some of you at times. I actually googled ‘bloody cheeto’ and found a picture that would be absolutely irresistible to dear FI [picture ME in the bathtub and not the overweight vampiress]