CPR doesn't have sh** on "fairy cakes"

[I saw this from the AP and had to post it as newsworthy news of the day]

A British man choked to death Friday during a cupcake-eating contest at a pub in Wales.

BBC News says Adam Deeley, 34, was competing with his friends to see who could eat more of the "fairy cakes" that were left over from a party at the Monkey Cafe and Bar in Swansea.
"It is thought Mr Deeley had around five of the cakes lodged in his throat," the South Wales Evening Post says. "Colleagues trained in first aid and an off-duty lifeguard rushed to help him. Paramedics arrived moments later. But they couldn't open his airway." The coroner plans an inquest, but police don't suspect foul play, The Guardian reports. "It was a tragic accident and very sad and should serve as a cautionary tale**," the nightclub's owners say in a statement to BBC News.

Wikipedia says there are three essential parts to a cautionary tale.
1. a taboo or prohibition is stated: some act, location, or thing is said to be dangerous.
2. the narrative itself is told: someone disregarded the warning and performed the forbidden act.
3. Finally, the violator comes to an unpleasant fate, which is frequently related in large and grisly detail.

**Disclaimer: You're an f'ing idiot if you think you can shove five left-over fairy cakes down your pie hole! In the future, try for three and chug some milk.