Thursday, January 17, 2008

dancing in my mind for so long..

I have always had a complex love-have relationship with my dad. I feel like ever since he met me, he never really understood me. He looks at me like I have five heads and he doesn't know where I came from. How in the hell did you come out with red hair? How can a child that small do so much sassing? I told you not to paint you bedroom bright yellow! What's a musical and why do I have to sit through 2hrs of it? You want to go to college where? But he's a Democrat? WHAT!? YOU'RE JEWISH? In his defense, I have been a handful from the moment I wiggled my way into this world. I guess when you're two and you come out dancing in a yellow bathing suit for the cable man on a regular basis your cop-father might get a little worried. He always just did the best he could to find a way to meet me in the middle.

So tonight I was on TheKnot message boards and someone posted a new song that she was considering for her Father-Daughter Dance. Dancing with my dad on my own wedding day has been on my mind since I was a little girl. Whenever I was mad at him I would think "I will never dance with him" and when we were getting along I'd think "we'll dance all night". I sat here and listened as tears fell on my keyboard - and aside from the fact that my flow is in full swing - it moved me. I cannot wait for the day that I marry FI, and in both a cliche and sick sort of way, marrying someone does in many ways take the place of that other man who you counted on, who loved you first and who hopefully you can find a way to always meet in the middle.

I have a running list of songs... this one is now at the top. I think you can hear the song here: http://www.stevencurtischapman.com/thismoment.htm

Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman
My Little Girl - Tim McGraw
In My Life - The Beatles or Bette Midler
Little Miss Magic - Jimmy Buffett
Father & Daughter - Paul Simon
I loved her first" by Heartland
Luther Vandross - Dance With My Father

Luckily I still have 168 days to decide...

4 comments:

Jennie said...

How did you not go blind after having a bright yellow room?

Unknown said...

I had a bright yellow room too! No kidding. It was the brightest yellow that I could find. Loved it!!!

I didn't dance with my dad at my wedding. There were too many rugby players to dance with. No, seriously, it never entered my mind. Of course it was the 80's and I was a bit 'toasty' back then, but it was never mentioned. I wonder now if he wanted to dance with me????

Tam said...

You know what? the weird thing is I don't even like yellow anymore...

Heidi said...

The end of this post almost made me cry. I LOVE most of the songs you are deciding on. My friend and her dad danced to My Little Girl and there was not a dry tear in the house.