Did you hear that call? What? Do I fear that ball?

This is my last day of work until after the honeymoon. I am totally swamped [for serious, shouldn’t be writing a blog] and it just hasn’t hit me yet that I don’t have to come back to this bullshit for three whole weeks.

Today I gave FI the afternoon off from wedding planning. He is going to a Reds/Indians game with my dad. The FOP is taking a group of cops/guests on a road trip to Cleveland. I think FI will be safe with a bus full of drunk cops. This was not as generous of me as you may think. My mom called last night and it went like this:

Mom: Dad is upset, both boys [my brothers] bailed on the father-son baseball outing
Me: Oh no! Dad already paid for those tickets and he’s been talking about it for months.
Mom: Tell me about it. Dad was going to ask FI when he was at the house picking up the truck today, but he seemed really frazzled and Dad didn’t want him to feel guilty for saying no.
Me: Yeah I think wedding planning is getting to him. So what’s Dad going to do?
Mom: Uggh, he said he was going to just not go to the game. So even though he didn’t ask me, I said that I wanted to go with him.
Me: You hate baseball.
Mom: I know, it’s sucky, but I felt so bad for the guy. I think I’ll just bring a book and read.
Me: You can’t read a book on a boosing bus or at a baseball game. Besides that will hurt his feelings – you will have to act like you are enjoying yourself.
Mom: They are leaving at 3pm and not getting back until midnight. I don’t even drink beer!
Me: Well you might have to tomorrow.

So since we are getting married in ONE week – I guess FI should have some Father-In-Law time. The only problem is FI understands only about 30% of what my dad says [a case of lingering NY accent topped with horrible mumble mouth] and Dad only hears about 30% of what FI says [50% if he has his hearing aids in – my dad lost his hearing from shooting guns for the last 27 years]. This has made for many amusing conversations over the past five years and my mom usually translates what my dad says for FI. But, thanks to me, mom will be at home reading a book in peace and Dad and FI will have to make do. As long as the topic of conversation is beer, baseball or cop stories – they should be just fine. If the topic slips to politics, religion or sex with your daughter... we might have a problem on our hands.