so awesome I can't describe the awesome effectively

Juno. Go see it. now. (in the meantime. some highlights)

Juno's dad: Next time I see that Bleeker kid I'm going to punch him in the wiener.

Vanesa: Your parents are probably wondering where you are.
Juno: Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?

Juno: You should've gone to China, you know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting
events.

Su-Chin: [protesting in front of the abortion clinic] All babies want to get borned! All babies want to get borned!

Paulie: No, I don't like Katrina. She smells like soup, her whole house smells like soup!

Juno: As far as boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker is totally boss. He is the cheese to my macaroni.

Rollo: That ain't no etch-a-sketch. This is one doodle that can't be un-did homeskillet.

Receptionist: Would you like a free condom? They're boysenberry.
Juno: No, thanks. I'm off sex right now.
Receptionist: My boyfriend wears them every time we have intercourse, it makes his junk smell like pie.

Juno's dad: In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.

And my personal favorite for obvious reasons...
Bren: Well, honey, doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream...