Nobody puts Baby in a corner!

So I would highly recommend not having complex thoughts before 9am but I thought I would share a tragedy that struck this am. While I was getting ready for work [and my cat was watching me spread eagle on the bathroom floor] a familiar song excited the dancer inside me (I've Had) The Time of My Life. Yes that familiar song in which we all want to find an incredibly flowy pink dress [why don't any of my party dresses spin like that??] and dance with Patrick Swayze. I was dancing in my bathroom while blow drying my hair - thinking of the coconut bikini, baby in the corner, that perfect dance and the entire place shaking their booty along with Pat and Jennifer Grey. (who BTW guest starred on Friends with a nose job and it took me the entire episode to place her)

Then I got to thinking... Baby was a SLUT! and so was her sister for that matter. And how was this one of my favorite movies growing up? [I seriously watched it like three times a week and STILL love it] What the hell kind of plot line was that?

[Plot Summary] Rich family goes to a strange camp-like resort. Two girls are horny and looking for love. Parents try to hook horny daughters up with other rich people's horny sons. Staff are like slaves and perform dances for rich people nightly. Staff woman gets abortion and is found crying in a cold dirty kitchen. Rich girl doesn't like rich horny guys so she goes for trashy dance teacher with tight pants and a mullet [which I totally crushed on too]. Rich girl dances in dirty staff club while sneaking out every night. Trashy staff girl teaches rich girl how to dance. Rich girl dances in huge performance with her hair in a nasty bun but messes up "the lift". In the end an old Jewish lady turns out to be a kleptomaniac and Lisa's rich boyfriend is actually a total dick.

What I want to know is- did Baby and Johnny use protection? It wasn't mentioned. What if baby gets pregnant and her dad has to help take care of that too - Yuck! How did they dance on that log and why wasn't Baby wearing a bra?!

What were my parents thinking by letting me watch that movie?? They wonder how in the hell I ended up a pro-choice democrat. You let me watch that SCANDALOUS MOVIE YOU IDIOTS! Oh and guess what mom and dad... Baby was Jewish too!!

Do you know wikipedia says this is the "most watched movie of all time, especially by women" What I want to know is: how are we not all sluts?

That movie to this day makes me want to "search through every open door" until I find a trashy camp employee to screw my brains out and teach me how to dance while wearing nothing but a leotard and unnaturally dark pantyhose!! FI says its just a phase and he'll marry me anyway.